Sun in times like this
by gloomy yet smiling13
Summary: WW2 Solangelo AU. Nico Di Angelo is a fourteen years old orphan who is trying his best to cling to dear life in the time of war. While he's working, he ends up hurting himself, which then result in the meeting a strangely bright and cheerful guy who comes in the darkest time (literally). stuff happnes and read on.
1. Chapter 1

So I have some writer's block for this AN. Hey! This is my first fan fiction that I'm publishing somewhere. I really hope you'll enjoy reading my story. It will be multiple chapter, hopefully somewhere around twenty or so chapters, so stick with me. This story is rated M for violence. I will write in the beginning of each chapter if there will be something to trigger on. This story isn't historically profound and some of the details are not based on history facts so if you see something out of place just go with it. English is not my mother tongue, so if there are spelling mistakes it will all go to my best friend/editore.

Hope you will have fun reading my story, good luck!

All rights belong to Rick Riordan.

 **CHAPTER 1**

I walked through my street I was born in, where I lived, experienced happiness, sorrow and grief in my short fourteen years.

It was cold, the winter has just begun and the wind had just enough strength to bite my cheeks, making them catch a shade of faint pink and my breath to apire like a ghost on the night street.

I made my way to the small apartment that Biance and I lived in. Well, apartment was exaggerating. It was a small place that we found after mama hadn't woken up again. It was inside a sideway alley near where our old place was. It was bigger, brighter and happier than everything we've ever known. The entrance door was at a clear street, no garbage cans thrown everywhere, no rats or scary man, no stinking smells of things I wished I didn't know what they were.

People knew us back then: our neighbours, friends, salesman in nearby shops which we've been to our whole life with mama. Now, the place we had was an abandoned basement or something alike. It took a while, but it slowly became home: cleaning up the place, puting some of the old sheets we could take from the apartment on the perforated mattress to hide the dark stain in the middle of it, lighting an oil lamp only when we really needed to. It was small, crappy and it smells no matter what we did, but it was the closest thing to confurting at the end of the day. People didn't recognize me anymore: my skin now was pale as snow, my hair was longer, I was thin, only a little bit taller than before and my eyes had never looked more dead.

I walked in the street, looking as casual as I could look so people won't know who I was, won't pay me attention and question me who was in charge of me, and almost reached the turn to the ally when I heard a scream from behind me.

I turned around, almost expecting to find soldiers behind me, grabbing at my coat and dragging me to the place that people didn't came back from.

It was dark and the street light wasn't the brightest light ther is, so as my eyes fixed on the direction where the scream came from it took my eyes a second to adapt and focus properly.

And I couldn't look away. I saw a man, trying to fight two soldiers who grabbed his arms, each arm for each was screaming, fighting to break free, slaying swears at the soldiers, everyone who watched and didn't help, god. I was pretty close, so I could hear him make a small prayer while he fought. My eyes went wide open when I understood that the prayer was in Hebrew. He was Jewish. I was surprised because in this days no one heard this language anymore. It was something that has been banished from all over Europe a year ago. And if you did hear it, the person who spoke it will soon be in a whole new different land.  
I may have gone to help him, but I had two reasons to suspend that thought: One, it was already too late, not me, nor somebody else for that matter, could have help him. If they knew his identity he had nothing to do to hide it anymore, and two, I had my own secrets. I couldn't just stand in front of the authorities whenever I wanted to. I had absolutely nothing, and everything to lose.

Eventually the soldiers stuck something to his mouth that made him look like he went to sleep. His limbs went numb and his head fell to the left. One soldier took his arms, the other his legs, and soon enough they were gone, quiet as thieves in the night, and the street turned back to the way it was, as if nothing has ever happened.

We knew things like that will soon start to happen here as well as the rest of Europe. Usually things like that didn't happened too often in this area of town. That's why when everyone was gone I found myself stuck to the ground, staring at the spot the man was just a minute ago. Most of the people were apathetice to soldiers in the streets by now, but as I sew them walking throw the streets I could practeclly smell the wriking, sweet oder of death in the air.

As I caught myself staring, I quickly shook my head to clear it and made my final step into the ally.

Because the winter had just showed it's first signs, the puddles of filthy water were everywhere, causing me to jump over and around them like it was a children's game. In times like these I almost felt like something resembling a smile wanted to reach my dry lips, but it was so hard forgeting everything and be a kid for once in my life when the world around me was crumbling and adding handreds of souls to the underworld each day that has past.

I missed one puddle and my shoe got wet.

"Merda," I cursed quietly under my breath.

I reached to the door of the basement while shaking my foot at the desperet attempt of drying my shoe. Lifting my head, I sew the fading numbers that I guessed used to have three numbers on it, but now there were only two numbers left on it:

a fading 13, the leg of the 1 almost gone completely. Christians tended to avoid this number for some reason that had something to do with religion, but in our family we didn't paid it that much of attention. We were Christians, yes, but we don't define ourselves by it. My mama always said to Bianca and me that we needed to define ourselves as who we were, what kind of people we were and by what we did with our lives. And we liked that version better.

I opened the door with a crackling sound that I associated as home and entered. It didn't make a lot of a difference with the cold: it was still cold inside, but at list it blocked the wind.

I looked around, expecting to see my sister, standing beside a pot of something you couldn't call soup, but it was all we had for years, and it sure was good enough for us, mixing it so it would appear warm, smiling at me when I got inside. But of course... That will never happen again.

She's long gone.

With a sigh and a stinging ache in my chest, I closed the door to keep the "warmth" inside. I tryed blowing some hot breath on me frizing hands, since I couldn't affored gloves that didn't have hols in it.  
I was exhausted after a day of work at the forest. It was overwhelmingly exhausting to chop wood all day every day. I had my ax in hand, cutting the stacks in front of me. I hated that thing. If I had to chose my own instrument I would have chosen a swored like the ones the soldiers of ancient times used during wars, only mine would have been black, reflecting the cold depressing days I've sinked slowly into. It would help me kombat all my enemies. Except for those in my mind and heart.

Since all the man were at war, everyone who were under seventeen had to take over everything they left behind. Because I didn't have education for the better half of my life, I could only work somewhere that didn't required it. So for over a year now I've been at the woods, working with the rest of the teenagers who were like me: kids with no family, no education, all alone with no future ahead.

I've been alone for four years and a month, never stop counting, never forgetting. It's been hard, especially at the first month. I was ten years old, with no job to support myself, no knowledge about the world to help me cooperate, no one by my side to help me with my grife. I could still remember the pain and agony trying to suffocate me with every breath I took.

But that's in the past. I lived it every day, and if I had a minute to forget, I took it.

I took out of the small cabinet the leftovers from yesterday that mostly incloded some potato skin that swam in canned soup that I think said on the front "tommatos". I put it in the small pot we had for years, turned on the fire in the gas burner and waited. As I took off one layer of clothing at a time, I made a self note to buy some new food. Some Potatoes, canned beans, and if I had enough money left, a small piece of bread. My stomach whined at the thought of bread.

The only sound I could hear was the old woman who owned the tailor shop from above the basement, screaming at her husband to stop bring mud in the shop in a very nice words combination. It was unpleasant, but I could't help but to think that at list they had each other. All I had was a small pot with a meal for one for years and years. I lifted my gaze to.

I ate quietly like always, and when I finished I got to the bucket I kept with some dirt water that I took from the river at the edge of town, not warm, the winter has just began and it would only be a waste of gas, and cleaned my face as best as I could so I wouldn't go to sleep dirty with dry sweat.

I changed to a more comfortable clothes and went to sleep, my stomach just a little bit fuller than before, my mind too tired to think about everything in particular, and my heart aching with something that went missing years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next chapter. I know it's been taking a long time between chapters, but for whoever may read it, it made me really happy to see I have some followers, so THANK YOU!**

 **This chapter will contain swearing (I had a great time writing them...)**

 **Enjoy!**

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Chapter 2**

Cutting down trees sucked, did you know that? If you didn't know that, then you're in luck. It requires a lot of physical strength, you need to be able to work for hours and hours, oh, right, and you don't need a lot of brain to make a living out of it. That's why I found myself in the middle of the woods every day for over a year at that point of my life.

I was never one to have the most important part of this job, always given work they knew I could handle so I wouldn't mess up with anything, and I never had a problem with that. Who needs to stand out and above everyone else when I could just have my peaceful workplace, do my job as best as I could and go home at the end of the day knowing I have enough money to survive another day? And besides, i never had a chance for a promotion. I was never one of those guys you'd remember no matter what I did. I was part of the everyday view, blending in with the rest, trying to not pull the attention towards myself so no one could know me.

Just like every day, I got to the clearing that got bigger with every day we took down more trees. I grabbed my axe and went to the pile of wood that was waiting from Thugs - the guys that were in charge of the big cuttings, that was one of many names I gave them in my head- left the smaller pieces that they cut after brining down the trees at the small woodshed at the middle of the clearing for us to take and make them something that could get inside a fireplace or an oven.

I carried one piece on my shoulder to a tree stump where I could start cutting it. The job was pretty simple: bring wood, placing it on the stump, lifting the axe, taking the good pieces to the second woodshed near the first one, placing the wood in place, going back to cutting. Any idiot could to it, even a kid with no education like me.

Even from afar, I could smell the scent of burning pieces of wood from town. It filled the air, mixed with the smell of rain and new plants and wet soil. It was kind of ironic; while the world was building its new generation of herbs, flowers and trees, I was busy destroying its previous hard work.

I got to work, focusing on the monotonic motion of lifting my hands above my head with the axe, cutting the piece of wood, moving the small pieces, making the bigger smaller and moving the axe to start it all over again. I had this little game I made from the hard work, it was the remaining of my childish behavior. The game was to create some sort of a rhythm with my hits on the wood together with the hitting of all the other was kind of stupid, but it helps me focus on something other than the blisters on my hands that were burning every time the handle of the axe rubbed on them, and the fact that it was cold enough for my breath to come out of my mouth in white puffs didn't help, it just made my blisters hurt even more. The game was a better option then to grit my teeth every five seconds.

At the corner of my eye I could see a flash of dark hair coming from the source of all the noise I could hear except from the birds and the wind.

Perseus Jackson. What a handsome idiot.

Because of his silly, sometimes childish behavior, people always assumed he was retarded or just plain stupid. But I knew better. Yes, there was something different about him, something that put him on edge, that didn't let him calm down and sit still for one whole minute, but I never thought of it as something negative.

Like me, he had a crappy life.

I didn't know a lot, we weren't that close, I only knew he had a violent past, but unlike me, he chose to take what he could and use it to his advantage, he chose not to sink into sorrow and to live like there's no tomorrow. I wouldn't say he was always cheerful, but there was something about the way he wanted to make sure everyone was alright that made him seem brighter than the rest of the plain and mundane people.

I shifted my gaze from him. How foolish of me for paying extra attention to him.

It wasn't something I was proud of, but I couldn't deny that it happened. And this is my big secret. I couldn't bring myself to say it, even between me, myself and I. In the place I lived in all those years, that kind of...tendency can cause you a lot of trouble and pain.

I heard an excited whisper near me. "Hey, Neeks! look at this." I sighed. That nickname again. Perseus tried to catch my attention to show me something small and white he held in his hand. Not moving too much, I made sure the shift manager wasn't paying attention before turning my head just a little bit to look at Perseus. He showed me what he held in his hand. It was a small white shell. From time to time he would find them lying around in the dirt and he was always excited when finding one. He had a weird sea- fetish that I never understood and he enjoyed showing them to me for some reason.

"That is a very small seashell, Perseus," I said dryly.

"You know you can call my Percy, right? We're past the official part already. And that's all you have to say? Aren't you interested to know where they came from?"

"Not really. they're here, and that's it. If it doesn't bring me money at the end of the day I couldn't care less about it."

Perseus ignored me and lifted the shell to look at it in the sunlight that emerged through the thick branches of the trees. He had his cocky smile that made him look like a troublemaker - which he was.

I sighed again, I did that alot for a fourteen year old- and went beck to work.

At the time that the sun was about half way through the sky, things started getting worse. Usually people ignored me as long as I did my thing and stayed in the background. Now don't get my wrong, if someone said something about me I would give him a piece of their own medicine, but my motto in life was to stay low so to not end low.

One of the punks - a muscular sixteen guy with rough features and a potato as a nose - decided that it would be so fucking hilarious to make a comment on my height.

"...I may be not the tallest of us, but at least I'm taller then lonely kid over there." I knew they were talking about me. I knew I was a bit short for my age, but I made up on that with death glares that held a promise for a bad future.

"And besides, I can use my voice for talking other than to grumble all the time." Trying not to gruble at that moment was harder then I thought it would be. I knew he was teasing me on purpose. He meant for me to hear it. I did my best not to lift my axe on that asshole's neck.

His voice got stronger. "And I have a whole, perfect, functioning _family._ "

That's it.

I stuck the axe to the stump with a sharp _thug_ and turned to him _._ "what did you say?"

Since we all grew at the same town, everyone knew everyone. They knew about my mother. They knew about my sister. They knew about me.

"You heard me. My life may be a crappy one, but I'm not alone in the world. I have family and friends. I'm not some little frightened kid with no one to love or to be loved by."

"Jack, you better shut your mouth. Like you said, I have nothing to lose. Say one more thing about me and I can promise you that you _will_ have something to lose."

Perseus shouted from where he was standing before. "Nico, make good decisions!"

"shut up Jackson!" I shouted back without turning my head from Jack.

Jack had a nasty smile on his face. "Bring it on, you midget."

 _How original._

He came to me, but something felt odd. I could not place my finger on it, but I knew it was something about Jack's posture. One of his hands was lifted towards a punch, but the other one was suspiciously low, closer to his pocket to be exact. Being an orphan for a long time, and all alone in general pushed me before into things I did not enjoy doing, like getting into fights with kids my age or older, and it caused me to learn to analyze my enemies quickly. Like that time a couple of years ago, when I first learned to recognize a pattern behavior of a rival.

He was trying to pickpocket me and was larger than me so I had to find something that would help me take him over. That's when I notice his left leg: it moves slower than his right one,like he was dealing with an old wound that he hasn't gotten over yet. I focused all my hits on his left side (and I wasn't very strong at the time- it was before I got a job at the woods so I had to be quicker than stronger) and soon he was on the ground and I made a run for it before he would find the strength to get up again and leave me bleeding to death.

In the last second, I noticeed something sharp coming out of Jack's pocket. I moved as quickly as I could, but his pocket knife still found my jacket's fabric and the flesh above my elbow. It dug in with a burning feeling of blood oozing out of me and the entrance of an unknown invader substance. The familiar scent of blood hit me in seconds, and like ever, made me want to throw up.

"SHIT! What the hell?! Really, a pocket knife? you're fighting like a wimp!" I spat out the words like it was acid filling my mouth. I tried holding the cut in place, lying to myself that if I did this the blood would stay inside me.

Jack came closer until he towered above me. "No one said I need to play nice," He said with his broken smile. Even from down there I could smell his stinking breath.

His friends came closer to me, circling me like a prey that got caught. Which I was. They almost reaches to grab me with their enormous hands when I heard a shout from behind me. "Hey! stay back, all of you!"

I closed my eyes and groaned. Not again.

I turned my head to look at the owner of the voice.

Jason Grace, the temporary manager was walking toward us. "What is going on here? shouldn't you all be working?"

Jason might not be the broadest of all guys, but he was tall and had this aura of a leader, someone that was born with authority even if he would have born as a peasant's son. He came to us with confidence, waiting for an answer.

The blockheads were surrounding me so I wanted to use that to my advantage. "Yeah Jack. Why aren't we working?"

His body language was screaming _you're gonna get the answer later_. "We were just explaning our comrade here that he shouldn't trash talk on people stronger then him."

I muttered under my breath, "And stupider."

Jack heard and pointed at me. "See?"

Jason put his hands on my shoulder. I wanted to shrug them off, but I knew Jason's only trying to help and that he was the only thing that's keeping the thugs from beating the Hades out of me.

"I will take care of that. get back to work." He took a few seconds to look at each of the pests to state his point. They all turned and went back to work, but not before Jack and two others gave me another angry look over their sholder.

Jason led me to the two woodsheds at the middle, where he usually stood so he could watch all of us all the same time. He told me to sit on the bigger logs so he could look at the cut. I moved my hand so he could see the damage. It didn't look so great. the knife's blade is blunt; still it left an ugly rupture. The skin where the knife came in contact with was torn. The familiar sensation of bleeding remind me of all the times I found myself on the floor at the same position. It was like the time right after Bianca was gone. All I wanted was for my frustration to find somewhere to stay, to forget for a moment so I wouldn't sink and drown in sorrow. I walked to the first person I saw, which happened to be one of Jack's friends. I only remember waking up on the hard concrete, laying in a pool of my own blood. The temporary numbness from the adrenalin in my veins faded and left an irritating amount of pain that made me want to give up on everything.

Jason looks full of thought. Maybe trying to figure out what to do with me. I could only hope that won't cost me my job.

Eventually he decided that I needed to see a doctor. "I can't risk losing another worker by something as silly as a cut."

He was only a couple of years older then me, but because his father was the manager before he had to go and fight, he took over so the town would have wood for cooking and to survive the hard winters.

Without wasting any more time, he sent me to the town's clinic with a warning to bring back a note so he would know when can I go back to work.

As I made my way to the clinic I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. For five years or so I've been avoiding going there. Even if Bianca was ill or that one time I had a Lung infection, when she had to work extra hours without a minute of sleep to get the antibiotics for me, we didn't consider for one second to go to the clinic; we couldn't allow anyone to know about us. we didn't want anyone like the church or Social Services to ask questions like where were our parents and where we lived.

I reached the doors, all clean and white, nothing like what I'm used to. With my good arm I tried to make my hair look decent and showed to a young woman that sat there and was dressed as a nurse. I closed the distance between us and when she lifted her face with a questioning look I showed her what was the problem. She told me to go to the second room and wait for the doctor.

I went into the room, and sat on the clean white bed, and looked at the room as I waited. There was an oil lamp ,that at the moment was off, at the small desk near the entrance. The room was too white for my liking. The bright daylight bursting in through the windows that kept going all the way to the ceiling made my eyes hurt. There were seven other beds in the room apart from the one I sat on and each one had a small nightstand beside it.

On top of the nightstands were thick candles that were half way through their life. From one of the further beds I could hear someone with a nasty cough, and closer to me a young kid with a thermometer in his mouth. He looked sick even without a second look; he was pale, sweat was sticking to his forehead and he shivered fiercely. But I had to admit that there was something relaxing at being surrounded by a bright light after years of living in the dark between rotting walls.

Just as I looked out the window, seeing the bright winter sun, someone entered the room with a sound that I could only describe as cheerful steps.

I looked up, and I could swear the sun itself walked into the room. He looked about seventeen,maybe, and taller than me. His hair was blonde, not like the soldiers that attacked the man from yesterday, their hair was blonde border of white.

No, this boy had darker blonde, yellow like sand and messy like he stood in the beach and allowed the wind to do it's job for a couple of minutes.

Somehow even though it was the middle of winter, his skin was tan and full of freckles. His smile was brighter than the room we were in which was impressive on its own, and his eyes were bright blue, like the blue summer sky without a cloud in the them.

He looked at me while holding a board with some papers on it as he said, "Hello, my name is Doctor Solace, and I will be your doctor for today." I mentally snorted in my head. _Doctor my ass_. He was barely old enough to go to the war, so being a doctor? Forget about it. They probably lacked in manpower if they resorted to hiring childrens.

He continued, "I see you have a deep cut at the external part of your arm. I'm just gonna ask you a few questions and we'll begin." He lifted his board, showing he was about to write my answers. "Your name and age?"

"Nico Di Angelo, fourteen years old."

"Hey, just like me!" he's face lit up as he said it as if it was something to be thrilled about. All this cheerfulness took me off guard. It was surprising to see someone acting like his age when everyone was require to be adults.

He cleared his throat and moved to a new question as he tried his best to remain professional. "Um, sorry about that. Workplace and manager's name?" Everyone who had two functional arms and legs that weren't an infant worked somewhere. It was part of daily basic to see ten year-olds selling to other teenagers groceries at shops and what not.

"The woods, woodcutting. Jason Grace, temporary manager."

He finished writing my answer and lifted his eyes to me. "You work there? Isn't it boring?" He actually looked interested.

I moved just a little bit under his stare. I couldn't look directly into his eyes so I turned mine away as if he was the sun just to end up looking at my lap where my hands rested. "Yeah, but aren't all jobs?"

"Nope. I love it here, it's like a second home to me." I only heard him say that and he sounded so… proud. I didn't know how to take it.

"Well, you're the only one." I gestured with my hand to move on.

Again with the professional act. "Right. Any allergies you know about?"

"No. Can I ask what all that has to do with my arm? Can't you just fix me so I can go back to work?"

His smile fell just a little bit, but he kept on going with the doctor act. "Now look, I can't do that. For a start, healing is not some magic trick that you can swing a wand and everything is fixed, and second, we ran out of painkillers so no matter what I'll do it's going to hurt."

Without another word he placed the board down on the table in the corner and closed the distance between us. He got closer faster than i expected him to and as he reached for my arm I couldn't help it but flinched away. _Too close. He's too close._

He saw my reaction and backed up a little bit. "Hey, relax. I just want to check your arm. If you're not comfortable with it just say so."

"No, it's not... I'm not really used to physical contact. Sorry, I'll try to stay still."

It's been so long since someone wanted to lay his hands on me with no intention of hurting me. I took deep breaths to calm myself a bit, reminding myself that I'm safe, that this guy doesn't have bad intentions. He doesn't want to hurt me.

He waited another few seconds to make sure I was ok, and then he reached for my arm again. He took my wrist with two strong yet gentle hands and turned it so the cut faced the ceiling. It hurt when his fingers touched it, but I could manage. I always did. His hands were rough, but warm nevertheless.

"How did this happen?" He's voice did not fit this world. It was all soft and warm, nothing like the harsh and cold treatment I received every day.

"some guy pulled a pocket knife on me." I said it like it was something ordinary. Doctor Solace looked at me horrified.

He was silent for a few more seconds. "well, he needs to sharpen his knife. That's an awful cut, sorry." he said apologetically.

He turned my hand for a while and checked it until he apparently found what he was looking for and let go.

"Ok, I think I've got everything I need to know. For now I'll disinfect the wound. I don't have any painkillers for you because we gave everything we had left to the army, so I'm just going to stitch it up for you and recommend you to not lift heavy things, and not put too much strain, and let it rest as much as you can-"

"Wow, wait, you can't say that," I cut him off. "I have a job to do, I can't just stop working because of this, how do you expect me to get money for food and things like that? Please, just write something to my manager that says I can work."

"I can't do that either. If you'll work with that nasty cut it will only reopen and get worse. But I guess if you must work, it can only be at my watch. I'll send a letter to your manager and ask him to keep you here for a few days until you'll get better. I'll give you some work here that no one has time for like sorting files and things like that." I was about to comment about that, however he stopped me with a hand before i had a chance to say anything. his hand stopped right next to my chest, "you will get paid, relax." he stressed.

I wanted to protest. Why does he care for me so much? It's probably because it's his job to take care of me. But he didn't have to find a temporary work place. It's not like he knows me to care about me.

But, he did promised that I'll get paid, and sorting files sounds a lot easier then chopping logs all day long. So I just nodded and allowed him to stitch up my arm. His hands were well practiced and gentle as possible and they seemed to move on thier own like he wasn't even thinking about what to do next. While doing so he tried to make a conversation, asking way I freaked out of not working a couple of days. And of course I couldn't explain to him my whole life story, that if I won't get paid I'll die from starvation. I guess he isn't the only provider in his family like me, so he couldn't possibly know the feeling of uncertainty, knowing that if you wont get paid today you will go to sleep hungry.

He turned to a cabinet, and when he came back he held everything he needed for me: iodine, some gauze, a needle and a thread. He took the gauze, poured some of the iodine and started to clean my cut. as the fabric made contact with my wound I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth with pain. My skin felt like living fire, I wanted to get out of my body, to forget what pain feels like. Solace kept apologizing, but it seemed he was used to people reacting like that under his palms. When he was finished and was about to start with the stitching he suggested for me to turn my face. I did, because I hated the thought of seeing another object piercing through my body at the same day. I could feel the needle inside me, but I tried to focus on something else like his warm fingers that presses on the soft skin in the inner part of my arm. It help taking my mind off from the pain.

When he finished he set me off, giving me a note to hand Jason, telling me to be here tomorrow at six in the morning. At the sound of that I smiled just a bit. That's one hour of sleep. one whole hour more than I sleep when I'm working in the woods.

I exited the room, and it may have been my imagination, but I think I saw doctor Solace smiles yet again.

 **~§°§°§~**


	3. Chapter 3

**VERY IMPORTANT AN, PLEAS READ.**

 **So I've made one small change in the first chapter because I realized it didn't fit with what I had planned. So now, instead of a tailor's shop above Nico's basement, that's a bakery shop instead. I promise there won't be any more changes or edits in the chapters (hopefully). Again, my first time publishing, up until now I only wrote for myself so I'm figuring out the process with time. Also, I forgot to mention that there will be some OC in this fic, like last chapter with Jack (remember that jerk?)**

 **Some history: I don't know who of you may know that, but at the time period that this story is set in, there wasn't a lot of black people in Europe and if there were, they had a low status and poor jobs and people treated them like less than human beings. I didn't just tell you this information for fun, this will be part of the chapter and you need to now that to understand that I'm not racist. It's just a small part without details, so fear not, but a very important information for you.**

 **This chapter will contain angst, and trigger warning for panic attack. Also, there might be some parts that will be hard to read on the second part of the chapter, so if it's hard for you, you can skip it, it's not long or very detailed, and I do want you to enjoy this FanFiction in the end.**

 **Sorry for the long A/N, so without any other note, Enjoy!**

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Chapter 3**

I made my way back to the woods to hand out the note "Doctor Solace" gave me. It was kind of weird not using both of my hands, even for just walking while swinging them by my sides.

The arm with the stitches hurt like tiny little niddles were poking at my skin over and over again untill they found the right depth that they wanted to get to, so I tried to pin my arms to the side of my body so it wouldn't move all the time and make the pain worse.

To get to the woods you had to go through town, and as I was walking, I could see all of the town's population working to survive. Well, only the women, children and the elders. Kids were trading; bargain on things like clothing, food and other usefull things to other adults with other kids or womens. But not everything was all good. While some of the children were selling groceries, I could see others lying on the sidewalk, thin with starvation, shaking like leaves in the wind, no proper clothing for the winter. Something in me wanted to help, it was human nature after all. But I didn't help because of two reasons: one, I barely had any for myself, and second, I got used to it. For years they were part of the every day life. Part of the town's view, a normal sight that you stoped questioning after a while. I didn't want to think about where they went when they eventually disappeared. And at one point or another, they always did.

I've already shut the world around me and walked faster out of town. At one point I thought I saw a shadow of a person behind me, following me, but I turned around quickly and there was no one there. I was still suspicious, but kept on going.

When I got to the clearing and found Jason, I gave him the note without explaining anything. It was all in the note. Jason read it, looked at me and then looked again at the note and said with a sigh, "Well, I hate giving you those days off, but if it will make things worse I can't really force you to work or else I'll lose you for good here. Fine, have a small break, but go to the hospital every day and check if they can release you."  
"That won't be a problem. The doctor there said that he'll give me some work there while the wound heals."

Jason looked like he didn't know what to say to that so he settled for, "oh, okay then."

He said I could go home, and I did. It was the first time in -I didn't know how long- that I got to go home before the sun made its better portion of the day. I still couldn't shake the feeling of being followed, but there was no solid prof when I looked and I started to feel stupid whenever I looked around to see an empty street.

I walked in my street and turned into the alleyway. I was about to unlock the door when there was an odd noise from the street, close to the turn to the alleyway. It was something that sounded like a small cry that you tried to hide, like someone just got their pinky jammed in a tables leg. The suspicion and curiosity got the better of me and I moved the key from the lock and brought it back to my pocket. I guess I had a weird look on my face, but I didn't think about it at the time. As I got to the corner I made myself ready for one of Jack's guys to run over me,not forgetting the promised he made not too long ago. Instead, I was knocked down to the wet, hard road and as I tried to balance myself with both of my hands, I got a painful reminder that one arm was temporarily disabled as sharp pain went through it. I hissed as I held it to not let the stitches loose and open. I figured that if it was one of Jack's friends I was doomed. Even before the injury it wasn't a fair fight, no matter how much I told myself otherwise.

I looked up, expecting to see the blockhead who did this to me when I faced a set of blue eyes and it took me a few seconds to comprehend what he was saying, "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I just wanted to check if you were alright -"

"By knocking me down and hurting my arm even more? Yeah, thanks a lot." I said, but there was no venom in my words. I was just pissed that now my arm hurt even more and that I set in dirty water, Or what I hoped was just water. I got up and tried to brush some of the dirt away, but only managed to smudge it even more. This day only get better and better, I thought bitterly to myself.

To Solace's credit, he did look somewhat embarrassed and flushed. It was kind of funny seeing him like that.

He opened his mouth again only to stumble on his own words. "I, I didn't, it wasn't like that, I j - just wan - wanted to see that you were fine b-because you l - looked pretty shaken after you left and -"

"Solace. Shut up." I rubbed my temple with my good hand. He was starting to give me a headache. To late, I remembered I had mud and dirt on my hand and I was rubbing it all over my head, but instead of letting it get the better of me I chose to go along with it. After all, this day can't get any worse anyway, so why bother.

"Okay..." he said in a small voice. Then it went silent, and we just stood there like two idiots. I could hear an old dog barking a few blocks away. The sky were dark and little drops started to come down on us.

Without thinking about it, I said, "Do you maybe want to come inside? Until it'll stop raining, I mean." I blurted the last part quickly, and at the same time I face palmed my forehead for saying anything. My face felt hot, which could have been a blessing in this winter, but I only wanted to run inside and lock the door behind me.

His face broke into a smile as he said yes and I had to turn my eyes away from that smile. Who could afford to be so happy all the time? It looked and sounded practically exhausting.

We got inside quickly, running from the sudden rain. I scolded myself for missing lunch at work, and now I had to make food that I bought from my own money. I hated doing that- I couldn't afford doing that- I had a very strict menu so I had enough for each day until the next month where I bought more when it ran out, but I had no choice. If I wanted to keep on some sort of healthy nutrition I had to eat. I promised myself that I would stop with starving myself from lack of food after the last time.

I looked over at Solace. He looked around the basement with his head tilt to the side with observation. All of a sudden I looked at my place, actually looked at it: it was dark, foggy and it didn't have enough air in it so it always felt like I was suffocating in there. The thing I called 'bed' was just a piece of matters that wasn't all qualified for someone to sleep in. I stole water from a tap that came down from the bakery above me (the reason the baker hated me), and all the food I owed was from cans so it would last for days ahead even after I opened it. I finally saw this place for what it really was because of one reason: Solace. With his clean hair, his clean cloths that looked like they were personally made and basically all his bright presence that seemed to light up this stocky place, for the first time in my life, I was ashamed of where I lived.

I never had this feeling before. Only one other person saw this place, but it was okay. She knew the reasons we had to live there just like I did.

But I never called this place home. This was no home. I called it 'my place' or just 'the basement', but never something that would imply that I lived there by choice or that I like living there.

I started to regret inviting him in. It was at the heat of the moment kind of thing, but only then I was beginning to understand what it really meant. It meant showing him my most privet place. It meant showing him the dump I lived in. It meant showing him the side of me that no one knew about it's existence, who I was. I didn't want him to see this.

I snuck another glance at him. Soalce was everything I never had, or, everything I had but couldn't remember having until I lost it all. He had a family, a perfect job he loved, siblings that were his best friends, no worry in the world except for his patients, probably had food on the table at the end of every day. How could I possibly stand next to him without resenting him for everything he had that I didn't?

Something he had no hand or control over? But then I felt like an ass for resenting him for the exact same reason. It wasn't his fault my life went downhill straight towards Tartarus.

I took one of the cans that I remembered seeing some beans left in and put it on the stove to cook while I do something else. At the time, the thought of offering Will something to eat didn't even occur to me. I was never offered things from other people, so I never knew to offer something to them in the first place.

I fixed my eyes on the can, but I picked at him one time from the corner of my eye. He was still looking around, but this time I could see his expression - I'd known him for a few hours, but I knew how to read people in seconds, it was a very important survival skill I learned through the years - and I could tell he looked worried. His eyes had something sad in them, like seeing the basement made him think of what has brought me to live there. He turned to look at the mattress in the corner. In the dim light, even I, from all the other way across the room could see that most of the spring were sticking out so it looked like the kind of bed you'll use for torture that you only slept in if the only other option was the cold hard floor. His back was facing me, but I could see some kind of tension in his shoulders.

I decided to cut to the chase as I asked, "So, why did you agree to come to my home Solace?" I mentally winched at that word. I may have lived there, but this place was no home. But Solace didn't need to know that.

Solace turned to me with a wierd look, like for a second he forgot I was there. Then, he put on a small smile that tugged at his lips almost subconsciously. "You know, you can always call me Will. That's my first name. And I wanted to make sure that you gave your manager the note." He clarified.

The memory from a half an hour ago flashed in my head, where I thought I saw someone behind me, and couldn't shake the feeling that someone was following me. "That was you? Were you following me to the woods? To here?" my eyes narowed with accusation.

He lowered his head, away from my eyes as he scratched his neck and looked a bit flushed. "Oh right, you weren't supposed know about that..."

I crossed my arms over my chest, ignoring how sore one of them was. I gave him a look that I hoped was unsatisfied with one eyebrow lifted and my mouth a thin line.

Will's blush only got stronger at that point. I almost felt bad for putting him in that position. Almost. "Well, I don't really know why I wanted to check on you more than I had to, I just did. And the fact that you didn't walk away from me and that you invited me inside proves that you don't seem too freak out like I thought you would." He looked at his hands that were restless and hanging low. "like a normal person should have been." He mumbled as an after thought.

He had a point. And of course I didn't just walk away. First, he made all this trouble to know I was okay and I didn't want him to feel it was all vain. Second, no one has cared for me for a long time, and I'll only admit it between myself and I that it felt nice. And third, well, that is something for me only that even I hate thinking about.

"Well, I guess I don't freak from everything like you thought." I made a small pause as I walked back to the stove to check on the beens. It looks warm enough. I blow out the fire to cool the can before moving it away. I didn't have a table in the basement, but I did have two chairs lying around and I gestured to one of them for Will to take. I didn't want to over work my arm by holding the can or moving the spoon to my mouth so I left the can on the small counter and used my good hand to hold the spoon. Will had already brought a chair to sit on as he watched me eat. It was silent and awkward but I waited for Will to break it first. It was his idea to come here, so it was his job to make it count. All the while I felt his gaze on me, but couldn't exactly say what it felt like. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but it wasn't unpleasant.

I finished my half empty can of beans and even though I ate as slowly as I could he still hasn't said a thing.

I moved my eyes to Will and he was still looking at me. I tried to stay cool under his piercing gaze as I said, "Well? You've seen that I'm okay and that I won't go and stumble on myself like a retarded, you can go home or back to your job or whatever. And beside, how could you manage to slip out of work in the middle of the day to follow me?"

Will didn't look uncomfortable under my stare, shame, but he kept playing with his hands like he didn't know what to do with them. "Most of the time I take care to all the really bad injures, like broken bones, surgeries and the like, since dad really trusts me and all. But no one needed any treatment so they gave you to me and since no one needed any help from me, I kinda... took off?" He made that sound like a question. He tried to make himself look small, just a bit, like what he did was wrong or stupid. And it really was stupid- who just leaves their work place out of the blue in the middle of the day?

I needed to blink a few times after that. It's not that he talked too fast for me to catch that, but the passion he talked with... The way he talked about his job, it was nothing like what I was used to and it was a bit overwhelming to talk to someone that was so passionate about his work like that.

The only people I talked to sometimes were some guys from work, and none of them were thrilled over their workplace. It wasn't like we did it for fun. The town needed fire wood for the winter and the daily life, we needed the money since all the town's leaders and men were at the war and no one was left to take car of the work but the women and children, so we took the lead on everything.

But he hasn't answered my question. I still wanted to know what he expected to happen when he followed me. "Okay, not trying to offend you in any way, but why do you care? I know you treated me in the clinic and that you gave me a place to work at for the next few days, and I am very grateful for that, but you don't know me. We met a few hours ago, and you know nothing about me except for what I told you, which isn't a lot. And what did you think would happen when you came after me?" I was surprised at myself for talking so much. My hand wanted to fly to cover my mouth instinctively, but together with that every inch of my body was screaming at me to stay still, to not show fear nor second guessing.

But Will didn't seem to mind any of that. In fact, it seems that all my inside conflict went unnoticed by him as he shrugged his shoulders and answered, "I don't know. Get to know you? It gets kind of lonely in the clinic. All my friends are kids who work there and sometimes it gets boring. Don't get me wrong, I love medicine and I intend on doing it for as long as I can, but I remember when there was more to life, you know? Like, you remember when we were kids and we had no care in the world for as long as we knew? We could just be, and if we made a mistake it wasn't the end of the world." He made a small pause to see if I was listening. I was. Because I could identified with every single word that came out of his mouth. We were only kids, but the world has decided that we were old enough to hold its weight with our lives. We weren't ready. When we were young and we wished for us to grow, to be older so people will stop treatint us like kids, we have never thought this would be the result of that wish of the heart. We never wanted this. And Will was the first I've heard to say this.

Will continued talking, and I had to go back to listening to him, almost afraid of missing something. "But I'm just ranting here. Forget it, it's nothing." He dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

I wanted to say something like: it's not nothing if you felt the need to mention it, but that just sounded pathetic and desperate, so I said in a smaller voice than I intended to, "Um, yeah, no, I um, get it." _Nailed it._

Will's eyes brightened just a bit, I almost missed it if his eyes weren't all wider then before. "I should probrbly return to the clinic. Just remember to keep the stitches clean and to touch it only if needed." He held his finger at me like he was threatening me. As if.

I noded with a small eye roll that I think went unnoticed. "Yeah, okay. And Will?"

He turned to me with questioning eyes. "Yes?"

I almost choked out but after averting his eyes I managed to say, "Thank you. For the stitches and the job." I couldn't meet his eyes because of the blush that crept into my cheeks. I wasn't at all used to thanking people without letting the sarcasm slip in every once in a while. And I didn't do 'blush'.

Will gave one last smile, a warm and sympathetic one before exiting the door. "It's my pleasure."

 **~§°§°§~**

The next day I woke up at around five in the morning. I didn't really know what time it was, I just knew that it felt like every morning when I woke up to go to the woods at that time. I did the usual routine of waking up, groaning when I actually needed to move from the mattress, washing my face with the water from yesterday after deciding they were decent enough to be more than to wash my hands and dressed up for the day. I finished it all after a few minutes- I liked waking up as late as I could so I trained myself to get ready in seconds - and I realized I had nothing to do but to wait until I had to go to the clinic. So I set on the chair Will set on yesterday and waited.

One of my most hated things to do in the world was to wait, especially when I was all alone. Because then I had time to think, and when I started to think, that's when I found myself sinking into deep water, and it never looked like there was a way out and back to the surface.

I sat on the chair and I could hear everything around me; The dripping of water from the small hole in the corner of the ceiling, the sound of the town, waking up to yet another cold day with an the uncertain future, the ovens above me from the bakery as they groaned in a low hum yet so loud down here, but out of all the sound one managed to rise above them all : silence, or more precisely, the absence of sound and noise.

I hated the silence. It reminded me of everything I lost. Everything I will never have again. That was another reason I needed a place to work: for the money and for the excuse to get out, to forget, to do something with my life and try to pretend that I moved on. Now it sounds bad, but the work gave me a purpose, it filled this emptiness inside me that I didn't want to face, as much as it was a big part of me that days.

It got harder to breath. I couldn't be alone here, couldn't stay here any longer when I could only hear the beating of my heart as it got faster with every second I kept thinking about her. The silence was a lie. It only seemed like that at first, but with every second I heard it, it somehow only got louder, demanding my attention, feeding from my agony and sorrow. I couldn't do this. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I can't. I just can't. I couldn't-

My legs felt weak, they were shaking a bit and couldn't support my wight as I tried to get out of there, to find some air that would fill my collapsing lungs.

Cold sweat was starting to form at my palms, making them hot and slippery, my heart beat rose and I could feel it in my head, beating like a drum inside my brain that wouldn't stop, it wouldn't stop, my whole body was stiff like a board but at the same time I had to keep moving, like if I'd stop something bad would happen, someone would catch up to me. My throat went dry and rough like glass paper and it was hard to swallow. It was too much, too much to bare, to handle, to live with. My breathing and heart were too loud, I couldn't focus on anything, not my sight, where I was walking, where I was, I was trembling, trembling once, twice, why is it so dark in here, I can't see, but I found the door.

My vision was still blurry, but I managed to grab my coat with trembling hands, the key to the door and nearly ran out from the basement. During the process, I stumbledand only barely managed to hold myself from falling at the two stairs that led to the street from inside the basement. I got out and slammed the door behind me and leaned on it to try to calm my breathing. I closed my eyed as I clutched my hands to my chest, feeling underneath my skin the intensified heart beat. It was so strong, it felt like hitting my axe on a log, but faster than usual and with intent to kill.

I tried to swallow, but my throat is dry like the air and my breathing came out in small, uneven puffs that I couldn't control.

Only then I first felt my damaged arm. Somewhere when I was at the haste to leave I hit it on something, and now that the adrenaline starts to wash away from me I felt it ten times more then before. I folded my sleeve and looked at it to see if it got worse somehow. The stitches seemed to be okay for all I knew and it didn't looked infected or swollen.

I unfolded my sleeve, trying not to touch the wound and moved to look up at the sky. From between the The tops of the buildings of the street I could see that it was still dark and the sun only started showing it's first signs. After a small calculation I knew by heart, I knew I had somewhere around an hour more until I had to be at the clinic.

I leaned my head on the door for a couple seconds more, just to ensure myself that I could breath properly and stand on my own and I started walking, not before locking the door behind me. I had time to kill and I wasn't going to spend it in this place more then I had to.

The ground was white with fresh, thin layer of snow and it crunched under my black lace up boots as I started walking.

I then had to stop for a moment, feeling my head spinning just a bit from hunger.

This morning I skipped breakfast since I already ate my breakfast yesterday - when I came back early and ate it as lunch. I knew I would have to pay for that later and I knew it was an exaggerating, but I swore I could feel how my stomach got smaller every day and with every meal I didn't eat. It always felt like the world was laughing at me when it came to food: here I am, eating meals that seems like less then a proper amount for one person while right above me was a bakery, filled with pastries, cakes, and bread. Oh God, the warm, fresh scent of bread every morning almost drove me insane every time. For so many times I considered leaving this place only because sometimes it was unbearable to think about my empty stomach while my solution was right above my head. And it didn't help that the owner of the bakery thought I was a useless brat and he hates my very existence.

As I got out of the alley I saw him at the front of his store, moving the snow away from the path to the door with a broom. He looked up at me and a small frown in the bottom of his forehead. I caught his gaze and didn't let go. Even if it was stupid, I felt that if I could hold the stare longer than him I would feel like I've won at some silent contest that we had every time we met.

After what seemed like minutes but was probably just a few seconds, he turned away and got inside the store when his wife called him. I had a small dry smile of victory on my lips at that.

I continued walking on the street, slowly, so I would have some sort of entertainment until five thirty, when Will told me to be at the clinic before six. As I walked, I got my cold, white palms im the pockets of my jacket with an attempt to warm them. It was nearly impossible, considering the huge hole in one of them and the fact that I had this jacket for years and the fabric there was thin with use.

I made a turn to the Main street,wanting to be around people after the morning I had. I decided that if I had time until I needed to be at the clinic, I as well sit and wait instead of wandering around doing nothing. I found a small bench near one of the stores (that didn't sell food, I wasn't a masochistic), and looked around me.

The sound and sight of moving, active people has always manage calms me down. Knowing that other people were alive around me, breathing and working, made me think of how nice could it be to have someone in your life, to be loved by someone, anyone, just to know that you had some sort of purpose in your life.

The air was colder than yesterday. I closed my coat in fail attempt to hold the warmth closer to me. I told myself I kept it inside from the cold thanks to my body heat. The bench was cold and a bit soggy from yesterday's rain, but I decided that if I already made my ass go frozen and wet, I might as well stay.

There weren't many people around me, though. Only a few kids worked at that time in the morning. I could see one kid at the age of sixteen building a small stack of milk boxes over one another, preparing to deliver them to the homes of happy families that needs milk. A girl at about the age of eleven got inside of her bicycle basketa pail of newspapers that she would also be delivering to doorsteps, and maybe three more that were about to go to their workplace, which ever it was. It wasn't a lot of people, but for me it was enough. I just needed to know there were still people around me, that I could relax my heart and calm my senses while I waited. I saw on kid, maybe about twelve, placing a glass of water and a small piece of bread next to a younger child that was laying with his back to a tailor's shop that the older boy came out from. He looked peaceful, almost asleep with his worn out clothes and pale skin. I wished for him to not be list, like that, his suffering would find an end. Again, I turned my head and left it behind me.

Eventually i raised my eyes to the big clock on the city Hall building and it was five thirty, and since the clinic was on main street as well as the city hall it only took about five minutes to get there.

I went inside, and everything was pretty much the same as yesterday: The hallway was pretty empty, except for an old man in a wheel chair with a tweed jacket and a blanket on his knees, but aside from that, everything was the same. It was quiet, only some low talking that were deemed out behind closed doors and a cough or a hoarse breath every once in a while.

I moved forward to the room I was at yesterday, where Will told me we would meet at the next morning.

As I walked in I saw that two of the beds were equipped, probably over the night or after I left. One of them was a boy with bandages over his hands and a few smaller ones over his head. His curly brown hair was sticking out of the bandages, his eyes were closed and his chest rose up and down as he slept. Lucky bastards. The other patient was a dark skinned girl, which was unusual to see in Europe at that time. She set on her bed at the end of the room beside the window, almost like the was infected or something. She has curly cinnamon hair and light brown, almost gold eyes, and they were looking at me.

I tried to ignore her stare as I took a sit at the chair near the door, feeling a bit awkward under her gaze. It always happened to me with people I didn't know, especially if they were looking directly at me. I considered asking her if she knew where Will was since she looked eager for a conversation or something and probably had been here for a while to have seen him at least once, but then again, I was no people person.

I moved my attention to the sleeping boy, focusing on his breathing to calm myself from what happened earlier this morning, but her gaze was still on me and for some reason I felt her hard stare making my skin itch with annoyance.

I couldn't take it anymore and burst at her direction, "Okay, what?"

She flinched a bit at my tone and her body moved back from pure instinct, yet her eyes didn't look afraid. Just curious.

But still, she hasn't said a thing. "Did you swallow your tongue? Why are you staring at me?" I knew it was rude and that I acted like a nasty brat, but I didn't try to make friends or something, just to do the job i came to do and that's it.

I sent her my death glare, but she didn't flinch this time, only moves her gaze from me to her lap. After a split second that neither of us said a thing she said, "Sorry for staring, mother always said that I was too curious for my own good." She lifted her face, a wave of hesitation in her eyes. "I know you couldn't care less about that. Ignore me."

Silence fell on the room. Only the faint breathing of the guy in the second bed could be heard in the emptiness.

"So," The girl started saying. She sounded unsure of herself, like she wasn't used to making the first move in a conversation. "Who are you? Do you mind me asking? You don't look like a patient or a nurse." She probably looked at my way, but I didn't want to know about it.

I murmured under my breath at her way, "Something in between," Hopefully she would get the message and stop disturbing me.

"I'm Hazel, by the way." I closed my eyes for a moment. Why do people here insisting on talking to me? I just nodded my head, still not looking at her.

It wasn't that I didn't talked to her because of her race, I couldn't care less about that- if I wanted to talk to someone or be around them, I only cared what kind of a person they were, not from where they came from. Not that I interacted so often that it would matter. I just didn't want to talk. With anyone. I wanted to do my job and get the hell out of there.

This morning was still running through my head, the memory of how the place I lived in for years had become my enemy, my own prison cell. Sometimes it seemed like I was a prisoner in my mind, always aware, never escaping.

"Hey, are you all right?" Only when she asked was when I realized I was clenching my fists so hard that when I opened them I could see small curvy lines that my nails dug in the skin.

I looked at the floor, all the while removing my dark hair from my eyes so I could focus on the white tiles, the straight black lines that went to a known destination, no troubles or bumps on the way, no disturbs.

"I'm fine." Another moment and the door opened and there was Will.

 **~§°§°§~**

Will led me to another room, which turned out to be the clinic's kitchen. What I called a clinic was actually part of a privet home that was partly converted to a clinic by Will's father, according to what he told me on our way to the kitchen.

"So that is why you're a 'doctor' here?" I asked, emphasising the word, still not buying the title. Will pushed the door open and held it for me to come into the kitchen. It was a large room, despite the little equipment that was actually there. There was an oven, a refrigerator, lots of cabinets and a round table with chairs around it.

Will didn't seem to notice the hint of sarcasm in my voice or just ignored it as he said, "Yep. And the rest of those who work here are partly my brothers and sisters and a few kids that volunteered when all the men went to the front. There we go."

Again, just like yesterday, I found myself in a room alone with Will. It not that I was uncomfortable around him, I was just... Not comfortable. I didn't feel the urge to flee out of there, but I didn't exactly wanted to stay alone with him. The way he sometimes glanced at my way with a small smile he thought he hide well made me feel my cheeks get all warm whenever I was alone with him. I could only hope he would never see me like that.

He led me to the cabinet and took out trays and plates. He told me to stay there as he went to the refrigerator and brought with him some plastic boxes with food in them.

As he came back, trying to balance all the boxes with his hand and body, he said, "your first job is to hand all the patients breakfast. You put the same amount that I'll show you in each plate and bring it to the patients on the tray with a glass of water. Easy enough?" I wanted to whip his stupid smirk out of his face with acid.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I'm not stupid. I know how to do simple assignments. Just show me the damn amounts of food."

Will nodded and started to put on the plate cheese, dried meat, vegetables and a slice of bread to the example plate. I looked at the paper bag of the bread, and yes, it was from the bakery above me. I felt like burning it out of principle.

After Will made sure I knew what to do he left me to the job. I looked at the plates on the counter. After A quick examination, I knew there were ten plates and trays, and the amount of food Will put on the example plate seem to be enough for all of the rest.

After WilI looked at the food in the boxes. It looked like they've been using that food for a few days, if the quantity in each container could be a judgment. I opened them and started to put all the things on the plaits.

It was so ironic - how the hungry guy was the one to hand out food to other people. It was almost torture like to have this as my first task here.

The faint, weak sent of cold dried meet reached my nose and I had to take a step back just to prevent myself from attacking the container. I closed my eyes hard enough that when I opened them I saw black spots, or was it from the hunger? I placed my good hand on my stomach and felt like something was moving there, something that longed for some sort of nutrition, but my mind fought that need. _Control yourself, you're not an animal._

As much as I wanted to throw away everything I knew about human manners and lunged at the only slightly dry bread, I knew I would hate myself if I did so. The aching, burning hunger inside of me was alive more then ever when I faced food that didn't included beans or potato skin, but I had a job to do.

I shook my head to clear it. The reminder that I was being paid to do that helped me- sort of - to keep on placing all that I needed on the plants and to forget that I haven't eaten since yesterday when I ate that half empty can of beans.

At the corner of the kitchen I saw a small wagon and I figured I could use it to bring the trays quicker and with more efficacy with one arm not functioning. After I placed all the tray I made my way out the door and towards the first room next to the kitchen, a room next to the one I was in for the stitching and this morning.

Inside were four people, all of them old- three woman and one man, the one that I saw this morning in wheelchair at the hall. He had long brown with stripes of gray hair that went a bit over his shoulders and a wild beard. He set on a sofa now, and had the same blanket on his knees like before. I didn't know why I moved my focus on him, but I shook it and brought the trays of food to the woman before placing another in front of the man on the small coffee table. He lifted his head to look at me with brown eyes that looked like they've seen thousand of years in a spar of one lifetime.

He still held my attention when he said, "Nico Di Angelo, is that you?"

And all I could think of was, who is this man and how does he know my name?

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Sorry for the long wait, I've been on vacation and didn't consider the times I won't have Wi Fi…**

 **If you want to leave a review, even to complain about that it took me over a month to update, I'll be more then happy to hear it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

For a moment nothing came out of my mouth. I just kept on looking at the old man, as if waiting for an explanation rather then answering his question. He looked at me with patient eyes, giving me all the time in the world to get myself together.

"I...um, I don't... Do I know you?" I couldn't stop the stuttering even if I was aware of it.

He smiled warmly, like somehow my broken answer was proving he was right with his assumption. "Have you already forgotten your favorite third grade history teacher, boy?"

"My teacher... Ch- Chiron?" my eyes were blowen away in their holes. One of my arms was infront of my body in a defensive position like he was about to attack me.

Chiron only placed his hands on his lap. "It's been long. Too long. How many years was it, about five?"

It's like my brain worked on auto pilot, I had no control on what came out of my mouth, it was the only a prof of how seeing him cought me off gurad.

"Y- yes. Ever since..." I truly hated how my voice sounded weak even in my own ears and on the edge of breaking. It's been five years since I last saw Chiron, that's all right. Not since my mother died. Bianca and I were young, at the age of twelve and ten so we went to the town's school- an old building at the end of main street. Chiron was my history teacher and I used to adore his classes, he always kept it interesting with a bit of fun to it so we would learn without noticing it. I remembered that once a week he would choose a different and new Greek mythology story to tell us about. He said that it wasn't something that were usually lernt in schools, but no diffrerent then learning about the world war or about the slavery in America. Chiron was the one that tried helping us after mother had past away. He really did care, but we knew what happened to the children that were left with no parents or a guardian to take care of them. They usually moved to the church's care or they would just disappear. Probably ran away to another town to escape the memories. or worse.

I remember one time, right after we went under the radar, that I saw Chiron at the bakery above us. He was younger, his hair was still brown and healthy, his legs weren't yet in a wheelchair. He was talking to the baker- we barly maneged at the time to escape from him as to not be found and kicked out of the basement that no one was using anyway- and I couldn't help myself from looking at him for a few extra seconds, just glimps of him to remember what I used to have. I stood at the other side of the street behind the street light pole and watched him. I just came back from the daily round at the town's dumpsters, searching for food. from where I stood I could see his smile, showing his true carring and wise charecter. I remember feeling my heart sink and thinking, _in a different life, I could still have this._

It wasn't fair. I had to leave almost everything I knew behind me, and for what? A miserable, cold life of starvation with no visable way out?

But I stayied for too long. Chiron turned and was about to leave when he spoted me. His smile twiched and the bag of pastrys- if I saw correctly- almost fell out of his grip. I backed away. It was one of the first few times I felt the cold, merciless grip of terror in my body. Bianca told me that if someone would recognize me I sould just run away until I could no long see or hear them. Chiron was about to come after me- I could tell by the angle of his body, leaning forword, his leg moving before his body to start walking- but I didn't stay to watch. I turned around and didn't look back. that was the last time i've seen him. Until now.

Chiron hadn't changed. He still looked the same and had the same old, always-a-teacher, kind of look to him.

I cleared my throat to changed the subject. "So, um, what were you been up to? Are you still teaching? Wait, what are you doing here anyway?" I bit my tounge at that. I didn't mean to blurt out so much in on go, it's just that seeing my old teacher again, a man I used to admire as a young boy, brought back the old me- a young, naive, happy, pathetic boy that had so much fate in this world. I loathed that kid. He was weak, depended on others, believed in human nature and he believed that things would be alright at the end. Chiron's presence only reminded me all of that and the thought that I gave in so quickly made me feel filled with shame and self awareness.

Chiron smiled, probably remembering how I used to be after that slip out. "I'm fine. And yes, I'm still teaching at the school, even at my age. Nothing happened to me boy, just some cough that's been nagging me for a few days, nothing to worry about. But how have you been? I haven't heard from you or your sister for ages."

I swallowed deeply. It was a small town where we lived, so everybody knew everyone, but I kept Bianca's death as a secret to myself. It was selfish, but I knew that no one would understand. No one would feel what I felt. No one would be able to help me other than say: "I'm sorry for your lost", or "I understand, you can talk to me." It was the most personal thing in a persons life, his own grief, so excuse me for wanting to keep it that way.

I couldn't tell Chiron all of that, so I settled for a simple, "we're okay. Been working." It wasn't a complete lie, so technically I didn't necessarily had to feel guilty.

I looked at him and for one moment our eyes met and all of a sudden I knew I wanted out of there. For the moment I couldn't face him, I didn't want him to know what a failure and a disappointment I became since the last time he saw me.

I think he was about to say something, but before he had a chance I quickly said, "Well, I should, ah... I should get back to work and stuff, so..." I trailed off and turned to role the cart out of the room and into the next one, hopefully without running into other people from my past on the way.

 **~§°§°§~**

I finished giving away all the food trays, including to all the staff, which was only Will, Keyla- the girl that I showed my arm to yesterday when I arived to the clinic, and another younger boy named Austin (I had no former familiarity with either of them, thankfully).

There was one last tray left, but I could swear I handed one to every patient in the clinic without missing a single soul. It actually made me frustrated, knowing I messed up my first assignment here. I hated doing only half of the work I was given, and not finishing a task felt like a burning sting to my pride.

Will walked by me with his tray and lifted one eyebrow with confusion. "What are you brooding about over there di Angelo? Come on, let's go eat." He gesture with his head at the direction of the kitchen.

I felt stupid admitting it, but I told him, "I have one more tray to hand. And, um, I don't really know to who I need to give it to. I'm sure I've been to both rooms where there were patients and there was no one left without one."

Will's confusion switched to a warm smile like he was watching a baby that only now learned to walk, and every time he fell and cried it was all cute and funny. "Nico, the last tray is for you. You didn't really think I would leave you without food for the whole day, did you?"

My face got hot from embarrassment. Will's words made me feel like I was that baby that couldn't walk. I hated feeling like that, without control over myself, not having the upper hand at every moment so I won't get caught off guard.

Will kept on talking, and for some reason he moved his eyes from me, as if not able to look me in the eye when he said his next words. "And besides, I've seen where you live and the state you are in and I want to help you. With whichever way I can."

At first I was touched by that. I knew he wanted to help, but knowing that he wanted to help me personally was one level ahead. But after a moment I felt angry. Was I just some charity case for him? Did he help me out of pity?

"Well, I don't need your help. I was fine before I met you, I'll be fine after I'm out of here as well. I can survive on my own." I held my hand over my chest, to refer to myself when I talked and to convince myself that if I held my hand over my heart it would stop it from hammering it's way out.

Will's eyebrows wrinkles above his eyes with confusion. Probably from my reaction. God, why did I had to react like a defensive jerk every time I felt I was being threatend. But something inside me just felt like snapping at him with no good reason. Act like that around this nice, caring guy? He just wanted to help me, and I had to go and blow the air out of his sails.

His nose bent a little, making his frecklles fall on one another. "I never said you needed my help, it's something I want to give you." Will frowned just a bit. "And besides, it's not enough to survive on leftovers from a week ago with no proper way to stay warm in your own home. I want to give you at least _something_." His voice got stronger and firmer. "And don't forget that I'm still your doctor. You need to do what I tell you to do if you want to get released from here. So if I tell you to come and eat you will do that without questioning me!" The last part he nearly shouted at me which caused Austin to turn around at the entrence to the kitchen to look at us. I ignored him, my whole attention was to the suddenly angry guy infront of me, not able to think of anyting to do.

I looked at Will with surprise. It didn't make sense. It's true I wasn't very pleasant when I waved off his offer for help, but I would have never thought that someone like Will would snap so easily. It was too off character to the sunny, smiling, happy medic. And it didn't seem like he was going through a bad day to act like that, so it must be something about what I said. But what-

"I'm sorry." Will's words cut off my train of thought. He held his head with one hand and for a second he looked like how I felt most of the time. "I shouldn't have reacted like that. That was really unprofessional." And just like that he made this tiny voice that I soon realized was a chuckle. I didn't know why, but something deep down in my stomach fluttered and made me want to return with the same coin. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back that thought as I blushed at his apology.

I found it peculiar how he let his anger die so quickly and brushed it off so easily. If I could say so for myself, It was a part of me that I could never get over. Holding a grudge wasn't something I was so proud of, but I already accepted the fact the I could never shake it off, that it was a part of me that would never go away no matter how bad I wanted it to. But Will just brushed it off, like it was the easiest thing in the world for him, while I had to grind my teeth to prevent myself from hurting people every time someone decided to be an asshole around me.

Will kept on talking, taking my silence as acceptance. "Come on, grab the tray and let's go eat. We only have twenty minutes left." Will said in his regular tone, all soothing and somehow bright. I could see why he was in charge in this place. The job was perfect for him: he knew exactly what he was doing when it came to medicine, and his personality helped him take everything he knew at the professional part of his work to a higher level of ability.

I took the tray from the cart and followed him to the kitchen where we set at the table next to Austin. We were mostly in silence, in exception of Will and Austin talking about stuff related to work. Kayla joined us after a few minutes, and at one point they talked about... Something, I didn't really care enough to listen, but from what I did catch, I understood that they were all siblings. Austin and Kayla actually looked alike: they had the same wavy light brown hair, greasy green eyes and the same calculating look in their eyes like they were either trying to aim an arrow perfectly in between my eyes or figuring out some new melody for a song that people would sing for centuries. Will, on the other hand, had nothing in common with them: with his bright blue eyes, curly, soft blond hair, comforting way with people. The more he talked, the more he seems more perfect. I mean, his life took the way he wanted, he had a job he loved, his siblings were alive and always by his side and he looked so at peace with the world and with the people around him. I didn't know if I either admired him or was jealous of him or maybe both.

At first, when I looked at the food infront of me, I didn't make any movment to try and touch it. I just looked at the plate like a statue, as if I wasn't sure of what to do. A portion this big hadn't found it's way to me in years. I lifted me head to look at the three siblings. They all talked and laughed with each other and beraly paid atention to the food while they ate, like it was something obvious, something that was always there without a doubt.

I began eating, starting with the bread. It wasn't fresh, but it still had the taste of yeast and flour that always hang around at the basment in the morning when the baker and his wife started the ovens and filled them with unbaked doughs. As soon as I started eating I couldn't stop. I ate as slowly as I could, savering every bite, knowing that soon it would be gone. At some point I looked up and saw Will looking at me. He just smiled at me with his mouth full which made him look like a squirrel that's been keeping all his nuts in his mouth for the long winter. I couldn't stop the snort that escaped from me. He looked so ridiculous. My reaction caused him to swallow what he was eating and to blush like a tomato and his freckles looked darker on the red skin of his cheeks. It only made me look the same, so I droped my eyes to my plate. Austin and Keyla stopped talking with each other, not seeing any of what happened.

We finished eating and we took the trays to the sink (which _I_ cleaned), and went back each to his work.

The rest of the day passed with no interesting or dramatic events, something I was truly grateful for. At somewhere around five, Will came up to me while I was sweeping the floor at the entrance and thinking about whether I should just suck it up and keep on with the sweeping or should I break this broom into tiny little pieces just so I couldn't use it anymore and for my own pleasure to see that devilish thing get destroyed by my hands.

Will walked behind me and scared the living hell out of me while doing so. It's not that he was trying to scare me (at least I think so), but I was thinking about all the ways I could break, burn and basically destroy the broom from hell, that I didn't notice he was even there. All day I've been working alone, sometimes seeing Will or Kayla as they were moving around, so you could say I wasn't used to people around me.

"Hey Nic-" what he was about to say was cut off by me jumping in the air and dropping the broom to the floor with a loud thud that rang between the quiet walls.

I held me chest with one arm, trying desperately to calm my racing heart while the other one was closed in a fist as I threw it into my attacker's face. I only barely managed to stop myself right before my fist was about to meet Will's nose. We both stared at each other for a split millisecond, but once we realized just how close our faces were we pulled back as one as fast as we could.

Telling myself that my face got hot and red from anger and nothing else, I looked at him- not in the eye, somewhere around his forehead to avoid eye contact- and said with demanding voice, "Solace, what do you think you're doing?" My heart was still beating from the nearly heart attack he gave me.

He did look a bit guilty, as he rubbed the back of his neck and tried to cover his face with the other one. "I, I came to tell you that you can go. Home, I mean. It's your first day and your arm is still healing so you need to rest as much as your arm does." He kept his hand over his mouth so his voice was muffled by his hand. "Just before you leave, come to my room so I could check that everything is okay, okay?" His words were rushed and held such uncertainty that I found it hard to stay mad at him. _Damn, what is with me today?_

But I had a reputation to keep on to, so I snarled at him, "And you couldn't say that without forcing my entire being to shit itself? God damn it. I'll be there in a few minutes." I bent to lift the broom, and as I got up I could feel Will's gaze following me. I kept on avoiding his eyes and fixed the sleeves of my shirt even though they were just fine, anything to hide the shiver that ran through my spin. (A/N: ha, that rhymes).

I lifted my eyes to him and he got all flushed and tore his gaze from me when he realized he got caught staring. I noticed he did it quite often. "I, ah, I'll go… come to my room when you're done."His eyes sudenlly widened. "No- not _my_ room my room, it's the room that is mine in here, it's not my own room in like-" He stopped his rambling and took a deep breath and left his mouth open but nothing came out of it and he eventually decided to give up since he pointed his finger over his shoulder to the general direction of the room he was in charge of and almost fell over himself trying to turn and walk away.

The whole scene was pretty funny, but I kept my lips shut for his sake. God, I knew the guy for a day and a half and there was something in him that made me want to protect his honor or whatever it was.

I shook my head and finished cleaning. I put the broom in it's spot in the closet near the entrence door and made my way over to room number two.

When I walked in I looked around the room. Will was standing next to Hazel's bed, talking to her with his soft voice and a smile on his lips. The guy in the bed closer to the door was still sleeping soundly in the same position he was in all day. I closed the door behind me softly so not to wake him. If he slept all day and hadn't woken up yet he probably needed the rest.

Will probably sensed my presence (I had no idea how, it was beyond me), because when I closed the door without making a sound he turned to me and I probably imagined it, but I think I saw his eyes brightened and his smile widened. I ignored that and made my way to where he stood.

"Hey Nico, how are you?" Hazel smiled kindly. She genuinely looked interested in me and I couldn't help but let a small puff of air escape from my mouth. All this caring was starting to overwelm me. Each time it happened I had to remind myself that it was directed to me, that it wasn't just a wishful thinking.

Even though I gave off an image of a loner out of choices that didn't want a thing with people and society, I was still human, and craved for that human contact that I could remember from my childhood. It was something fundamental in our nature, an instinctual reaction while around our kind.

I shruged my shoulders. "Okay, I guess." I didn't really felt like talking to her. After this morning when I turned down her attempt to create a conversation I thought it would destroy every chance I had. But just like Will, an angry or mad reaction didn't shut her down, it only made them more eager to socialize.

Will turned to her. "Okay, so if things would stay the same for another few hours you can be released and go home." He then turned to me. "You can sit on this bed, it would only take a few minutes." He gestured to the bed next to Hazel's. I walked back and set with my face to Will.

I folded my long sleeve and stretched my arm to his waiting hands and almost immediately regretted doing so once I felt his warm hands on my skin. I didn't know how it was possible, but even though it was the middle of winter and it was freezing outside, his hands were warm like they just came out of the oven. He moved his fingers on the wounded skin and stitches that, might I add, I kept in a good condition.

He worked quietly, which left the room vacent of sound, and even though there were other people in the room (including the one that's been knocked out for the whole day), it felt so intimate, with his dry fingers on my arm, moving softly on the wounded skin, his body close to mine, the small hume that escaped his mouth every once in a while. I felt the need to back out, to move away just so I could think without his presence so close to me. But I couldn't let him see that. If I did that he would only worry and ask me what's wrong, and what could I answer to that? ' _There is something wrong with me, and it has something to do with you, but you can't know about it because you would hate me and wouldn't want anything to do with me'?_ Yeah, thought so.

"Well," He took his hands off my arm, "Everything seems fine, no infection and you kept the stitches quite well. Just let it rest some more and I'll check it again tomorrow at the end of the day." He looked like he wanted to add something, but eventually let out a small sigh like he gave up on that and said, "You, um, you can go home now. And thanks for today, we sometimes need help around here and it was nice to see a new friendly face."

I gulpt and almost choked out of my own spit. "Wh - my face?"

The usual bright smile returned to his face, making me a little bit relaxed once I saw it. "You're sometimes so dense, di Angelo." He shook his head with a chuckle. I frowned, feeling my forehead wrinkled and it apparently only made his chuckle turn into laughter.

I got down from the hospital bed, only then realizing that it got me right in front of Will's face. It was like my conscience took the lead over my body and tuned off my brain. And you want to know the truth? It felt good. I liked how his body was warm, how his eyes looked at me with something that I could only defined as curiosity, and I would never admit that ever out loud, but I liked how he was just a few centimeters taller than me. It gave me a sense of security, that I had something to lean on when needed.

I cleared my throat in the most awkward way and moved to the left to get out of the circle that the bed and his body made around me. Will soon realize what happened and he backed from the bed as well, even though I wasn't standing there anymore. He rubbed the back of his neck and his face got more pink with every second that no one said a thing.

"Well, that was awkward." Will and I jumped in our pants, only then remembering that Hazel was wide awake, and that she saw the whole thing from the front row. We turned to look at her and she had this weird smirk on her lips that kept within it a powerful knowledge.

Deciding that if I stayed one more second in this room I would probably say something I'll regret later, so I said to both of them without really looking at them, "I'm g- gonna go now. Thank you again for everything, I'm-"

My eyes moved from them to the door a few times untill I left the room without looking back once.

 **~§°§°§~**

I got to my place without lifting my eyes from the road for even a second, and when I was about to open the door with the key in hand, I saw something moving at the corner of my eye. I returned the key to my pocket, all the while never moving my eyes off the entrance to the ally. I thought about going there to see what it was, but immediately relaxed and threw that idea out the window when I saw behind one of the dumpsters a mop of blonde, curly hair. I almost laughed at the thought that he once again followed me here.

Since he hide behind the dumpster, and didn't revealed himself, I figured he probably didn't want to be discovered. Even though I amused my mind with ways to come up to him and get him out from behind the dumpster, I figured that one time was enough and that I'd better leave him to do whatever he thought he was doing.

I shook my head in disbelief and moved inside the basment, locking the door behind me, and maybe I imagined it, but it seemed like the basement wasn't so dark anymore.

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Thank you for taking the time to read my story, leave a review maybe?**

 **And sorry for the long wait. I hope that the next chapters will be updated every two weeks or so…**

 **Enjoy, and pleas leave a review if you might ( a heads out thank you).**

 **~§°§°§~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Enjoy, and pleas leave a review if you might ( a heads out thank you).**

 ****

 **Chapter 5**

"Good morning Ni- wow, what happened to you? You look like death."

I just made my last step up the clicnc's stairs and went to throw the door open when Will came my way with the attempt to greet me with some morning blessings.

I grunted at his way, hoping he would take that as an answer, wishing that he would drop the subject and hand me my job for the second day. Unfortunately, with Will that kind of things could never happen.

He folded his hands infront of his chest. "As much as it's plesent to hear that you're a morning person, what happened to you, though? You look paler and more tired then I've seen you before."

I stood in front of him, rubbing my temple in attempt to clear my head from the previous night. I had another nightmare when I went to sleep, one of the worst I had lately. I've been having these since I could remember, always chasing me, always finding a new way to torture me and preventing me from finding peace at the realm of dreams. It was always about something else: sometimes my mother, screaming at me that I was not her son, that someone from her blood could not be a disgrace like me. A lot of the times it was Bianca, calling for me as to why I didn't try my best to save her, telling me with sadness that a real brother would find a way to help her. But most of the times it was random people, people I used to know, or just got to know, all of them somehow found out about who, and what I was, and they all rejected me, saying the same things from different mouths. _How can you do this to me? I thought I could trust you. You're weak, you can't even save the people you love. You have no right to live, let alone love someone or be loved. I hate you._

I hated the nightmers for three reasons: one, I couldn't sleep properly while having one, and as soon as I woke up I could never go back to sleep. When the worst ones hit, only when I couldn't face the darkness I sometimes light up the oil lamp and kept it beside the matters until the dawn came and the small crack in the outside wall brought in sunlight that sprede the shadows away. Only then I could turn off the lamp and save some of the oil that's left. Two, it brought back memorys I wanted to forget about so bad, it almost hurt how badly I wanted it. And third, it made me feel weak. It caused my hands to tramble, my breathing to come out uneven that brought a pain to my lungs and my heart to flutter like a dyng butterfly that's trying desperately to swing it's wings even though he knows there's no use.

I could never say all of that to Will, he would probebly try to help even if it meant staying by my bed every night with a night light if he believed it would help. I couldn't let him, or anyone for that matter, to see me this weak. I just couldn't.

Without looking at him as I kept rubbing my temple I threw my better arm at his way with dismiss. "I'm fine Solace, don't worry and get your happy face all lopsided because of it."

I could hear the weight of his legs shift like he wasn't certain of what to say, but he never missed a beat, "I think I should be worried about that. You don't look all that healthy for the moment, and that says something since you never really look well, like you don't eat properly. Do you have a problem with that? With food, I mean? You shouldn't be eating half a can of beens a day. If you want, I could help you with that and buy you some-"

"Wow, hold your hourses, Sunshine," my whole body went into a state of allert and I held my hands infront of him as if stopping him from walking forwards. "I don't need help, I am perfectly fine with how I am now. I just..." I looked for a quick excuse as to why I looked like I did. I didn't actually saw myself untill I walked next to the clear glass window of the tailors shop near the bakery. My reflection looked back at me through the screen of jackets and coats on hangers inside and on the display window. My eyes looked weary with balck- peirpul circles under them, my pale skin looked like dirty snow and my hair was a mess that I tried to flattened before getting in.

A lazy excuse came to my mind, and before I kept him for too long without an answer I blurt out, "I had a busy night that kept me awake. That you don't need to know about. That's it." I wasn't too satisfied with what I gave and I mentally winced and flicked my head at that, but I needed to convince myself with that so he would believe it as well.

It was nice of him to offer to help me, though. I couldn't remember the last time someone offered to help me, or to even bother to ask me how I was. But then again, I kept people at an arm's lenth, I did that to myself on purpose. I had to stay unattached to stay strong. Loving people had never brought me any benefits whats so ever, and Will wasn't gonna break what Iv'e worked so hard for. _Stupid healer who's worried about me._

Will bit his lower lip yet again with that uncertainty look in his eyes (could he please stop that?). "Okay... But if something's wrong or bad, you can always talk to me, you know that, right? Oh, and another thing," His looked like he just remembered something and all of a sudden he was holding my wrist with his hand that sent an electricity jolt running throw my spin. He pulld me into a room I soon realized was a supply closet. _Not funny_. He closed the door behind us and pulled some string that light up the small lamp at the ceilling above us.

We were standing close, maybe an arm's lenth between us, which was still too close. I tried backing out, but my back hit shelves of bandages, medicins and other medical suplay. The yellow light from the lamp made his skin look even more bronze like than it already was.

Will opened and closed his hands a few times until he finally spoke. "Look, I just wanted to say in a more privet place how sorry I am for yesterday when I snapped at you like that. I shouldn't have done that. It's just..." he rubbed the back of his neck and droped his eyes to the floor. "It's just... My brother, Michael, he also thought he could take on the world all alone, just like you. One night he and my dad got into a huge fight, I don't even remember what it was about, I was only seven. Michael kept screaming at him that he could survive on his own, that he didn't need help from the family and especially not from him. He packed a bag that night and came over to my room, said his goodbye and left, just like that." Will's voice sounded far away at that point. His eyes stayed down, but I could see they looked emptier then I have ever seen them. Will kept talking, his voice breaking low in his throat. "I- I never saw him again. I don't know what happened to him, I don't know where he went, I don't know why he did this to us, to _me_. I-" he lifted his eyes to me. They were red on the edges, filled with warm tears that were standing and just waiting to fall on his cheeks.

Realizing that he practically broke down infront of a guy he has just met a day and a half ago, he let out a small laugh that lacked of any humor in it and wiped his tears with his thumb. "Sorry, again. I didn't mean to- yesterday, when you said those words, it broght back some memories and all I could think about was Michael and how he said those exact words, and that a day after he was gone. The abandonment I felt back then came rushing at me and I took it all on you. Will you please accept my honest apology?"

It took me a few seconds to realize he was talking to me and not telling the story anymore. I was so wraped up in his story about his brother I completely forgot I was a human being with the ability to pronounce words as a way to communicate others.

"I- um, yes, yes, I accept. Um..." I didn't know what else to say. Comforting and talking to people wasn't one of the strongest abilities I owned. "Sorry about your brother, though. I had-" I mentally slaped myself. _Were you about to tell him about Bianca?!  
_  
And now for the funny part: I was about to do exactly that. His story wasn't all the same as mine, but we had something in common: losing a sibling at a young age. It suddenly made Will look all less perfect then what I thought of him only yesterday. He had problems too. He had faced loss as well.

 _We have something in common._ The idea was almost insane for me to grab hold on to.

Too late, I realized I was quiet for too long to even continue what I started. So I just closed my mouth and left us in a quiet silence. But something in that silence was different from the one we held between us the time he was in the basment. Only after I looked at him and found his eyes looking into mine was when I understood: it wasn't awkward. It was a comfortable silence, one that held in it symppathy for each other. It was the kind of silence that didn't lack a sound, it held in it life itself.

The silence broke, and we could hear from outside the closet that Austin was looking for Will. "Will, come on, it's not funny. I really need your help, Mrs. Andrew's looking at me with her googling eyes again and it's freaking me out!" the last part had been said in a loud whisper so only Will could hear it from where Austin thought he might be hiding at.

I took one look at Will's direction. A second later we made eye contact and Will burst out of laughing, holding onto his stomach and the walls of the closet to keep himself from falling to the floor. A moment later I joined him, not as bad as he was laughing, but I couldn't do a single thing to stop myself even if I wanted to. And I didn't. I haven't laught like that in years. The situation was so absord, with the both of us standing in the closet and Austin looking for Will to save him from the hooves of an old woman that would do sinful things to him if someone won't help him.

Soon enough, the door to the closet swang open, and in the entrance stood a very pissed Austin, looking at the both of us like we were kids that just stole something from their parents and thought it was the best prank in the world. "Really? Is that funny to you? I expected that from you Will, but Nico? I thought you were more mature then that idiot over there."

What he said only made us laugh even harder and Austin just shook his head with disbelieve and left with the door still open.

All while laughing, I could see at the corner of my eye that Will was shooting me a glance every once in a while. I felt uncomfortable under his piercing blue eyes, like I was being watched, examined to find all my flaws so I could be fixed. He had this smile on, not his usuall smile that was all sun, joy and a bit of sarcasm, but a new one' that i haven't seen yet. It was small, more gentle then before. It was warm, a bit crooked on the edges, but a smile you could prectecly _feel_ on your skin, trailing paths of yellow light that made me forget for a second that he was staring. And so have I.

I blinked my eyes once, twice, and dropped them to the floor. I couldn't tell what Will felt at that moment since I wasn't looking at him, but he said, "So, we cleared the air now. Are we good? Are we friends again?"

I almost chock at that word. I never realized before we were friends. We barly knew each other a week! Hell, I didn't even know what that word meant. I didn't know if I agreed with that statment, but I dcieded to let him enjoy the doubt.

I smirked at him, not revealing my thoughts. "Sure Solace, if that's what you want to call it, go ahead." I got out of the closet with Will at my heals.

I didn't really know where to go, so I made my way to room number 2. Will quickened his steps to get to me and walked beside me. "So, I was thinking, there aren't many things for you to do today, so maybe you could help me with some of the patients? You know, cutting bandages for me, bring me some things from the supply closet?"

I looked at him like he fell and stumbled while walking on flat ground with no actual reason to fall from, as in wonder. "Why would you want someone like me near the patients? You said so yourself, I look like death, I would scare them off just by looking at my face."

Will just rolled his eyes with a smile on his lips as he opened the door to room 2 and waited for me to get in before walking in himself and closing the door behind him. "Just help a friend out. I assure you it won't kill you, Death boy."

I turned to him with my finger at his face. "Do _not_ call me 'Death boy'. I may look like death, but I can give that nickname a whole different meaning."

Will only laught softly and waved his hand for me to follow him.

And all I could think of for the rest of the day was, _friends?_

 **~§°§°§~**

As it turns out, even while helping with the patients there wasn't much to do. We changed Leo's bandages (that was the name of the guy that was sleeping in the second bed with half of his head bandages. Aperently he burned half of his body while working at the town's smithy). We changed the bandages on his face and arms after he woke up this morning around three PM. Will talked to him a bit, and we got back a round of puns and jokes that he looked like he saved for moments like this when he had a listening audience.

Hazel has left yesterday in the evening after she looked well enuogh (according to Will), so Leo was alone in room 2.

Will decided to help Austin with Mrs. Andrew, so we walked to room 1 where the eldery people were. In the room were the same people as yesterday: three woman, one of them Mrs. Andrew, and Chiron. I avoided the eye contact he tried to make as we walked in even though I could feel his eyes on me, trying to force me to look at him by telepathy.

I didn't really had anything to do, since Mrs. Andrew had lunge cancer. So I decided I would wander around, to look at the room and what's was in it. I got closer to a book shelf and looked at them: a thick, black book with golden writing on the side, a dark green, thinner book next to it, another black one, smaller then the first, that looked lighter even without taking it in my hand. As you can tell, I couldn't read. You probebly think, what kind of an idiot can't read? Well, _I_ was an idiot that couldn't, and neither could Bianca. Okay, maybe she knew a little bit, but not enough that it could have helped us.

After our mother died, we were left with no one to be responsible for us, no one to support us financially, so we dropped out of school. Before that, we went to the local school, like the rest of the kids in town. But afterwards we were left on our own, we couldn't pay for luxurys like that. We could always go to the church and ask for help, but we were never that Christian, and we knew that the church people would only want to split us to different familys who would like to adopt us, or more likely, since we were all grown up and no one would want to adopt old childran, they would want to keep us in the church and give as Christian education. Neither of those options sounded all too good, so we went under the radar and took care of ourselves.

So, yeah. I couldn't read, write or spell words other than dog, class, home and other words at a third grade's level at the most, if I could remember them. But, since chopping wood all day didn't require wider education than to know how to aim your axe properly so it would cut and chop, I never felt like an outsider among my fellow workers.

After going through all the books that I assumed were medical books (most of them were black or some kind of dark color), I decided to look out the window since Chiron was sitting at the farther part of the room from the window. Outside I could see the sky darkening with thick dark gray clouds. In the distance I could catch some thunders and flashes of lightning that crossed the sky in a flash of white light. At the street I saw the usual business, with the exception of new soldiers. Usually we had in town about five to seven soldiers that roam in the streets to make sure everything was alright. And by alright I mean that there were no specific tips of people among the people who had the right to be here. That could only mean trouble, especially for people like me.

I took a step back from the window while still looking outside, like if I turned my back on it they would somehow see me and just by a quick look they would know.

Will finished taking care of Mrs. Helen and we were off again. And again I didn't look back when I left room number 1.

The rest of the day we kind of laid back cause there really was nothing else to do. It was so different then working at the woods. Back there we almost didn't have a second to just sit down with nothing to do. The only time we could sit along the work day was at lunch, and even then it was only for fifteen minutes to eat, drink, convince ourselves that we rest enough to keep on working and than it was over with the blink of an eye. In here, since for the moment there weren't so many patients, Will, his siblings and me could goof around a bit, like we did just this morning. It warmed my heart to see how they were all comfortable around each other, but at the same time remind me of what I lost. I didn't think about it again.

Every once in a while Will would ask me something about myself, like why didn't I ever talked about my family, or why didn't he seen me at the school before the war began, or even stupid little questions like what was my favorite food (anything that's not rotten), what was my favorite color (dark black like my life) or what did I like do to in my free time (HA!). But I did got to know him: He lived just above the clinic with his siblings and parents, Austin and Kayla were only his half siblings by his father's side, he liked the sun (shocker) and when he grows up he wants to be a doctor.

"No way, I could have never guessed that!"

"Ha ha, very funny." But he laught himself at that.

I was starting to get comfortable around him. He just radiated safness, a place to talk without being judged, a helpful hand. And it didn't matter how much I tried to push him away from me, he just came back, more insisting and enthusiastic then before. I decided to accept him and move on, it was much easier than to lay him off every time. And I actually started to like that.

 **~§°§°§~**

At one point Austin went over to do some supply check and Kayla got out to buy some food that they ran out, which again left me alone with Will at the kitchen's table. He kept on trying to ask me stupid questions about myself, and evey time it was too personal. Untill he changed direction and attacked from a different angle.

"Where do you shower anyway? I don't recall seeing a shower or a bathtub in your place." his voice was so emotionless, that I just knew he felt sorry for me, because of how my life looked like. He just tried to hide it so I wouldn't be offended.

I considered my option: to tell him the truth, that I was using a dirty towel socked with the water from the sink to wash my body, or to lie and keep it safe and locked behind bars.

I didn't look at him as I lied my ass off. "I go to a friend's house every once in a while. I take a quick shower and that's it." I knew I should have kept it simple without many details so it wouldn't be hard for me to maintain the story line if needed.

I could feel Will looking at me from acros the table, and even without looking I knew he saw through the lie. Forget about being a doctor, this guy could be a detective with no training what's so ever.

We fell into a silence. It wasn't so comfortable like I was used to by now around Will, so I didn't really know what to do. My lie still hung in the air and I was debating on weather I should come clean and tell the truth or to keep it the way it was. Either way, I didn't want to make the first attempt to whip the silence under the rug, ן didn't know how to.

"You could always shower here." it was said in such a small voice I would have missed it if the room wasn't so damn quiet.

I looked at Will from the curtain I made from my hair so he wouldn't be able to make eye contact, and his head was low on his neck, like he was defeated. He looked like a beat down puppy and I knew it was because of me. I could never in the world know why he cared about me, why he always offered to help beyond what a normal person would have, but for some reason when the topic the place I lived in came up he would always look like that, like he felt sorry for me and didn't really know how to help me without stepping on a mine that would explode me into million little pieces.

"What do you mean?" I didn't actually needed his explanation, what he offered was pretty clear and obvious, but I wanted to keep him talking so I wouldn't need to. delaying my answer.

He sort of peeked at me, his forehead wrinkled like he was afraid something would happen to him if he kept talking. "Well, if your... friend, would have any problem at having you over, you can always come here, even after you won't work here anymore."

I just blinked at him a few times. Sure, my lie was easily spotted from miles away, but I didn't expect him to cooperate with it, let alone to offer even more help then he already did. Everything he did, every word he said only made it harder for me to dislike him or to not care for him. It was against every instinct I developed over the years, but he just came around and knocked everything down with his caring and insisting words.

I didn't exactlly knew what to say, but in the back of my head I heared myself saying, "Th- thank you... I'll remember that."

Will looked awfully relived at that, his whole body sort of relaxed as he smiled.

For most of my life, I haven't thought of shower as something vital or necessary. It was something that other people had in their homes, a luxury at most. Sometimes in the summer when it got hot during work and I came back to the basement all sweaty and disgusting, I would take the old towel I found and somehow I managed to wash the dirt and sweat from my body, and even my back if I was detriment enough. The thought of taking an actuall shower made me feel like I didn't belong, that I was something less human because of the way I choose- forced to choose- how I lived. So when Will offered me that, something that was unreachable for me, as small and unimportant as it may have been to other people, something inside me just went loose, my whole body felt less stiff for a second and it was like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders and suddenly the sun had a way to me through the heavy clouds.

It wasn't the offer itself that did that. It wasn't even because Will was the one who offered it. but because it was something small- not food, warmth or shelter- it wasn't important to the everyday life, but it was something that distinguished human kind from animals, that made us domesticated and different, all because of things as simple as wearing clothes, washing our hands after going to the washroom and taking showers with soup and everything. That offer held in it something bigger than what Will thought: he offered me to come back to the human world, to be a part of it along with his guidance.

The kitchen's door opened and cut off my thoughts and awoman came in. She had wavy brown hair that reached to her chin and light brown eyes.

"Will, do we still have some- oh, I see you have company." her voice was nice, suitable for a singer of a sort.

Will dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "It's fine Mom." he gestured at me. "This is Nico, he's a patient here from a few days and he's helping us around for a bit."

I almost snorted at that. I wanted to say, 'just a bit?' Except for examining the patients I did everything around here. It was like they were waiting for someone like me to use as a houswife. But I did none of that. I may had took off my guard a bit around Will, but I needed to remind myself why I had to stay silent. I couldn't attract attention to me, if that was to happen I would either panick and and go mute or I would just run as fast as humanly posible and would never look back.

"...ce to meet you Nico." I only heard the end of the sentence Mrs. Solace said, thanks to my thoughts yet again, but I could tell what was the intention behind it. I saw a hand held straight infront of me, ready to be taken and shaken. I shoke it (with my good hand, I wasn't a complete idiot), weakly though, since meeting new people always did wired things to me, like not looking them in the eye or not answering them when they asked me something or greeted me.

She turned again to Will. "Honey, do we still have some gaze or do we need to buy more? The Henderson's boy fell from the tree in thiere yard again."

Will looked like he as trying to to win a winking contast with the way his face crunched as he tried to remember. "Yeah, I think we still have some, but not a lot. I can always go and get it if you want me to, there's not much to do anyway."

Mrs. Solace smiled warmly. "That would be great sweety. We need a few things other than that, I'll make a list for you." and with that she was out of the kitchen as fast as the way she entered it, without a fuss.

Will turned to me with apologetic look on his face. "Sorry about that. She does that quite a lot; bargging into rooms without a warning first." Then his face became more hasitated mixed with a question he apperantly wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to. "Do you want to come with? It sounds kind of boring, but it's kind of boring here too, so..." he bit his lip out of nervousness, I realized with wonder. Why was he nervous? He always kept on a confident appearance and it wasn't hard to get swept away in it, like it was some kind of a huge wave of positivity that you couldn't fight against, you just had to let it take you to the shore and trust it to keep you safe no matter what.

We got ready to go out, which included us getting out jackets and Will taking the list his mother made him and some money. I waited for him beside the front door with my hands in the jackets to get them warm before they would freeze outside and there would be no going back from that. Will came after about ten minuts and I was about to mention that I was eighty by the time he reached there, but every argumant I was about to say backed away inside me the second I saw Will.

He wore his jacket which was an odd shade of light blue, he changed his shoes to boots and everything was normal and ordinary, all untill I saw his face. He had his usuall big smile, his nose filled with freckles like always, his blond hair looked all soft and comfortable, but what was on it took my full attention into a spinning mode. His hair was sticking out from underneath a dark blue beanie that covered his ears and all his hair exept for the curly locks that escaped from the front. I probebly stared, but I couldn't help it. He looked... Good. No, better than good, I didn't know how to describe it, but it fitted him really well.

I stared too much and was sure that I looked like a fish out of it's water, cause Will lift his eyebrow at me. "Why do you look at me like that? Is there something on my head?" and then he made this little show where he took off his beanie and ruffled his hair to take off whatever he thought was on him. It got me to smile a bit and shake my head with amusement.

Will stopped his imaginary fight and stared at me. "You're smiling."

My barely smile slipped away immidiatly. "What?"

Will's cheeks were so red, he looked like someone found an old photo of him as a kid, wearing his mother's dress and heals with makeup on. "You, i- it's the second time I've seen you smile, and that's just today." pure, true shocke was written on his face with such clarity, it was kind of hard to watch.

It's only because of you that I smile like that, you're such a goof at times.

I found myself dropping my eyes to the floor again. A small crack of sound came out of my mouth before I said, "can we go?"

Will seemed confused for a moment untill he realized, "oh, to the store! Yeah, sure, let's head there now."

He opened the door for me which helped me with the bitting cold outside as my cheeks were flaming when we steped on the thin layer of fresh soft snow.

 **~§°§°§~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey again! For any of you that are still with me, this chapter contains trigers for… sad life story? something like that.**

 **All rights belong to Rick. Please read and you leave a review so I'll know what you think of this fic… Again, my first time here. Oh, and thank you to all who took the time to write a review, you know who you are!**

 **By the way, if sometimes it seemes like I repeat some parts or there's things that collide with each other, do tell me, because I'm a senile and I'm not awere of doing that, so if you'll tell me I could change that so there won't be any misunderstandings.**

 **Anyway, Enjoy!**

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Chapter 6**

Walking through the Main Street with Will was... odd.

After exiting the clinic Will pulled out of his coat's pocket a pair of gloves that looked like they could keep his finger tips warm even at a snow storm. All I had was my coat's pockets and my hair to keep on the exposed skin, not warm, just not cold.

In a town as small as ours, where everyone knew each other, not in person, but in name at least, everything stayed pretty much the same, maybe a change once in a few months. And when Will looked around at the buildings, the trees and the people, he looked with wonder in his eyes at everything. He bent his head backwards to look at the buildings, snaped his head at the direction of a boy calling another one to move his ass and bring him the tool he needed, jumped at me when he walked too close to the road and nearly got hit by a girl on bicycle with her basket full of small sticks to a purpose I didn't know. It was like everything attacked him all at once, the sites, sounds and all his other senses overwhelmed by things I couldn't imagine as to why they caused him to act like that.

It was odd walking with him because it seemed like he'd never seen the town before. Suddenly he stoped to look at one of the stores.

"Oh, look at that, I didn't know they were selling scarfs!" Will pointed at one of the only two stores that sold clothing in a range of a few hundreds of kilometers. In the display window were mannequins with dark coats, some had hats on, also in dark colors, and all of them had scarfs in shades of blue or dark green. It was kind of depressing, all the dark colors together were giving an aura of a funeral and sickness. I didn't know what was all the fuss he made around the scarfs. They were there for something like two months.

And he was excited about it. Now. Like it was the first time he's been seeing it.

A frown crawled to my face as I wondered out loud, "Will, it's been there for like, eons." then a thought strucked me. "How long has it been since you last got out of the clinic?"

I risked a glace at him, though without moving my head from 'looking' at the display window. His facial expression reminded me of the way to properly kill a fly. You lift your hand very gently and very slowly above it, in a way that it won't feel your presence, and then all at once you smash the fly when it's too late for him and he's smudged on the wall. That was the best analogy I could think of while watching Will face turn and change. At first it was calm, maybe a tad concerned. Then, he blinked a few times in a way that made me feel it in my own eyes, that nagging feeling you get after blinking too fast or too many times, and his concern only increased as his eyes focused on the scarfs like he was trying to convince himself that it was actually real, that it wasn't some magical Centaur running in front of him shooting arrows at nearby enemies.

"Something like eons." Will's words came out quiet and distanced, like he wasn't talking to me anymore but trapped in his own head like the world stopped spinning for him.

Knowing I would regret it, I took out one hand from my pocket to tag on Will's sleeve to signal that it was time to go. It was way too cold to be out in the street like that, and I couldn't risk getting sick with my hands and head out in the cold, not if I wanted to keep working in the clinic, the most sterile place I could think of. I had only this place to work at until Will said I could be released and go back to the woods, and I couldn't sneeze on the patients while giving them their meal: 'Here, have this plate full of germs. Have a good meal while you think about my snot in there, YUM.'

My hand got bit by the soft wind and the snow that began a few minuets before we went out, but I managed to pull Will after me, his face still focused on the window.

We walked in silence the rest of the way. Will was still inside his head and I was just trying to stay dry. The only time one of us broke the silence was when Will said, "we're here," when we came to the front of a tiny store with the name on a half- falling sigen, "Magic in a box".

Will opened the door and stepped aside to let me pass first. I rolled my eyes and sneered at him but my frozen body complied and I walked in, Will right behind me closing the door to keep the warmth inside.

The store was pretty small at first look. It was small, filled with general things like cleaning supply, basic food, and in the corner I could see a pile of fire wood next to the fireplace. It was weird to see the product of my job like that, in an environment other than the cold, muddy woods. At the end of the store there was some sort of home made front desk with a cashier on it.

Behind the cashier stood a girl about our age with black short hair. Once she lifted her eyes to look at us from what she was doing on the counter, her eyes went just a bit wider than before and I could see on her light skin that she was blushing just in the amount that she could blame it on the cold or the heat from the fireplace behind her.

Will walked to her and I followed. When we got closer I could tell that she was looking at Will like she couldn't believe her eyes.

Oh.

"Hey Lou, how are you on this fine day?" Will asked without missing a beat, like he never saw her blush or the fact that she was gawking at him, that, or he ignored it.

Lou blinked like she woke up from a dream and mumbled, "m- me? I'm fine, no, good, I'm good, really good, you?" she looked like she was mentally slaping her forehead with frustration. Will didn't notice that ether.

"I'm okay. By the way, this is Nico. Nico, this is Lou Ellen. Lou, Nico is working at the clinic for a few days with me. Anyway, we need gaze again. That thing's running quickly lately. Do you still have some?"

"Yeah, we have, in the back, in the store." she blushed even harder which made it uncomfortable to watch. She sighed and murmured under her breath, "I will go now." she turened to the door at her right and disappeared behind it.

Will looked at the door with a light frown. "That was wired."

Not really, if you would look under the surface.

I merely turned to look at the store, leaving him to think about it on his own. A few moments later Lou Ellen was back with a few packages of gaze. Will paid for them and Lou Ellen put them in a bag.

Will thanked her with a sweet smile which only made me think that they were together, and I didn't want to think about that anymore. You only know him for like two days. Stop that.

We walked to the door and before I had a chance to hold onto the doorknob, Will placed the bag with the gaze in my hands.

"Hold on, there's something I need to do. Can you wait here for a second? It would only take a few minutes." he looked partly exited and partly restless in a way that I didn't know how to take. He had this sparkle in his eyes like he had this crazy idea and he wouldn't let it go at any cost. He sent a quick glance at Lou Ellen and then back to me.

I wanted to ask why he's being all secretive and why I couldn't just come with instead of waiting here, but before I had the chance he was out the door, calling at me, "wait here!"

I was left standing alone in the front of the shop with the gaze in my hand and Lou Ellen's stare burning at the back of my head. It was awkward. It's that feeling you get when just knowing a friend's friend that you don't know and being left alone with them. You had one thing in common but that's it. And I didn't want to develop a conversation with Will's girlfriend.

So I just stood there with the paper bag in my hands, feeling little sweat droplets forming on my face and back with the heat of the fireplace and my coat on, and I didn't know what to do. I had no people skills, and when I did talk to them it always came out as a snarl or a warning for their benefit. For some reason it never bothered Will, and he was the only one. And as much as I didn't want anything with Lou Ellen, I didn't want to be mean to her, and to do that I couldn't talk to her.

All this time I looked at the display window, yearning for Will to be back so we could be out and back to something I somewhat knew, I would even welcome the falling snow outside and the risk of frost covering my fingertips.

Finaly, after minutes that seemed like years, I saw Will runing back at the direction of the store, hiding something in his coat as he ran. Probably something he bought for Lou Ellen, if that quick glance at her before he went out could say anything.

When he got in he shook his head to get off the snowflakes. When his eyes met mine, he smiled and took out what he was hiding in his coat. It was a paper bag, and on it was the name of the bakery from above the basment: 'Demeter's grain', it said, and behind it were a few paintings of pastrys and sheaves around it. Will switched the bags, took the one with the gaze in and gave me the one of the bakery. I couldn't for my life guess why he was looking at me in such intensity or why he gave it to me. If he bought something for his girlfriend, shouldn't he be the one giving it?

I felt Will still looking at me, expecting something to happen, but I didn't know how to read this whole situation, so I did nothing.

"Well?" Will said eventually. "Go ahead." did he want me to give it to her? That's weird . But I muted the small feeling of burning disappointment and started to make my way to the front desk. I barely made the second step before I felt Will's hand on my shoulder. He turned me around, dismay all over his face.

"Where are you going?" he looked very confused for some reason. I didn't know who was being more weird: him for not understanding why I walked to Lou Ellen, or me for not knowing why he was confused.

I looked between his eyes, a solution to not look at his eyes but to appear like I am. "To give this to Loe Ellen." I tried not to let my voice sound like I was talking to one of those people in mental hospitals, but it was difficult when he was acting like that.

"And why would you do that?" now we were both talking in that 'isen't it obvious' voice like two idiots.

I eyed him as I replayed in the same tone, "because she's your girlfriend. Because you bought it for her?" it came out as a question. I've had enough with that game.

For a moment Will didn't say anything. Then he burst out in laughter. He folded his hands on his stomach, not able to get control on himself. I was confused and angry. For some reason he found it hilarious, and he was laughing at me. Who does he think he is?

I kicked his shins hard enough to get the massage into his thick skull.

"Ow ow, okay, it's not funny!" but he was still laughing. My face burned in anger and embarrassment. Will calmed down enough to be able to talk. "I'm sorry, but just the thought, that Lou and me..." he shook his head, a smile remaining from his laughing fit still across his face. "We're just friends. I would never think of her like that." he pointed at the bakery's paper bag with eyebrows up. "And I bought this for you. Thought I'd do something to thank you for helping and all."

I blinked at him. Then again. I could feel in the back of my head that I was staring for too long, my body wouldn't do anything about it.

Not even knowing what was in the bag I started to push it back to him. "Will, I can't have this. You need to save your money, we're at war, remember? You shouldn't spend it on me of all people."

Will shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, not accepting the bag from me. "Come on Death boy, don't be ridiculous, I got it for you. I won't take it back so you might as well eat it while it's still warm."

We looked at each other for a moment untill I knew there was no winning with him about it. I sighed and said, "fine, I'll take it, but I won't eat it."

Will shrugged his shoulders. "Fine by me." there was a challenging in his voice, like he dared me to not touch it.

Will looked above my head. "Thanks again Lou, see you around." his eyes shifted at me again, his amused smile on again, remembering that I thought he and Lou Ellen were dating, then he turned and left the store. I made sure the bag was safely sealed inside my coat, and after closing it, I left through the door as well.

 **~§°§°§~**

Something I haven't seen from inside the store: the snow got thicker on the ground and the wind got stronger. It was kind of hard to see through it, but somehow I managed to keep my eyes on Will, who knew the way to the clinic by heart.

Even though I told him I wouldn't eat whatever was in the bag, I still tried to keep whatever Will got as warm and dry as I could untill we reached the clinic. The scent caught into my cloths and somehow through the wind it reached my nose. It was something sweet, and had the scent of freshly baked dough and something a bit spicy on the edge. As I held on to the ham of my coat so it wouldn't slide out, I couldn't help but to think of the last time I've eaten something sweet.

It was right before I lost Bianca. I was ten and she didn't want me to work so early in my life, so she was the only one that financed us, with the exception of me sometimes stealing food from dustbins. We didn't have much, but I was too young to care. I knew we weren't that great, but I had my sister, almost a full meal once a day, and no grownups to tell us what to do.

My birthday came at a cold morning, and even though I insisted that I didn't want anything (which was a lie. Come on, I was a ten year old), she ordered me to put on my coat and to move my butt out and away from home. At this times, the basment was home. Because home was where the heart was, and when Bianca was still alive, mine was still beating and alive. Even though we needed to keep ourselves under the radar so no one would find out that we were orphans, we sometimes made small dashes if we needed anything. She took me to the candy shop that Miss Jackson owned at the middle of Main street.

I couldn't believe this. I haven't tasted something sweet that hasn't come from decay in who knows how long. Bianca searched in her pocket and apparently she found what she was looking for and took out some coins. She placed them on the desk infront of Mrs. Jackson and said, "one cup of hot chocolate please." there were only enough coins for just one cup. It didn't seem fair but I knew that after some persuasion I could get her to drink some as well.

Mrs. Jackson smiled and turned to make the drink. When she turned back after a minute she asked, "do I know you kids? You look familiar."

Bianca took the cup and placed it in my hands. Without looking at her she said, "no, our family is just passing by to the next town, you don't know us." even though her tone was stiff and cold, when she handed me the hot cup she smiled warmly and her eyes shone with pride, proud that she managed to save enough money to buy this precious luxury for me.

"Are you sure?" miss Jackson asked again, a tad of curiosity in her voice now.

"I'm positive." Bianca glanced at her for a split second, just enough to give her the feeling that my sister wasn't lying to her but not enough to actually look at her and be recognized. As a kid I didn't see it. I only saw the steaming cup of hot, sweet chocolate in my hands, the smell of expansive milk and chocolate mixed together made my mouth water.

With a 'thank you' to miss Jackson's direction as we turned on our heels, we were making our way back to the basement.

We walked at the edges of the sidewalk, ducking our head down whenever someone would try to make eye contact. It was something Bianca taught me a while ago. I tasted my hot chocolate - carefull, don't get your tongue burned- and my mouth was tingling with this new sensation. The sweetness filled my mouth, and as it went down my throat it warmed all of my being, ignited something in my chest thinking of how precious this was.

The memory was cut off when I realized we reached the clinic. We got in and Will went over to his room to help that boy that fell from the tree, whatever his name was. I wanted to be alone for a while. That memory was one of the best things I had in me, but I saved it only for the hard parts, for when everything seemed useless and not worth the try.

I went to the kitchen that I fortunately found empty from living creatures, and closed the door behind me. I said I wouldn't eat whatever was in the paper bag Will got, but my curiosity got the better of me and I opened it, just to take a peek.

I knew that sugar was something that was getting harder and harder to place your hands on as an outcome to the war, but somehow 'Demeter's grain' found a way to get some, since the pastry infront of me was a cinnamon roll.

I took it out with cautious hands, like it was something explosive or a new life form I've just discovered. It was a bit crushed on the sides and the partly wet bag made it dump, but part of the warmth was still there, the sent was there and everything that small thing meant was screaming at my face in a way I couldn't ignore.

It was insane. Will knew me for only, what? two days and a half? It was insane that someone that has just met me wanted and did things like that for me. Sure, for someone like Will it maybe not as a big deal that is to me to just go on and buy things when he wanted to, but to me it was something more than just a piece of food. It meant another day, another moment to try and make the next one even better, but even since I was left alone in this world, it seemed like I was meant to do this on my own. It was hard to know what I felt at that moment, it was everything and nothing at the same time.

I peeled one piece, just to try it. When it reached my mouth and the flavor hit me I closed my eyes to savor the moment for later. The spice of the cinnamon, the bright taste of the dough, I didn't even care that it was partly cold or wet. All I could think of was all the possibilities in that single bite, of how it filled my mind with happy unexpected thoughts.

I was about to ignore what I've said to Will and eat the whole thing right then, but something in my stomach didn't feel quite ready, so I placed it back to the bag and kept it in my jacket's pocket. (see A/N at the end of the chapter for more information).

I folded my long sleeve to expose my wound to the open air. I couldn't really see it since Will placed a bandage across it earlier this morning for a reason I didn't know, but I could feel my pulse beating in there and I may have imagined it but I felt a small hich in that place that demanded attention.

I knew it would be idiotic to touch it without knowing what I was doing, so I unfolded the sleeve and went over to room number 2 to continue on the work day.

I reached the door and was about to knock it when I've heared an edge of a conversation, Will's voice talking at the moment, a hint of frustration in it.

"... It's just hard to think of it, you know? I mean, I know not all people get to live like we do, but to see it first hand is just..." he left the end of the sentence to hang in the air. "He's too skinny for his own good. The first time I gave him food he looked- terrified! Like the plate was going to eat him whole!" Was he talking to someone or to himself? I knew I didn't know a whole lot about Will Solace, but his voice didn't sound natural. It was off character to hear him like this: without his usual confidence, self doubting and just not Will- like as if he was mad with the world for something.

Then a new voice joined in. "I know It's hard, especially when he's so young. Why don't you talk to him if it bothers you so much?" was it his mother?

Will made a small sound of humorless laughter. "Yeah right. Like I would just approach him and say, 'hey Nico, can you pleas tell me your life story so I could understand you better and be able to help you? I would really appreciate it, here, have this lollipop I hand to kids after a check up and have a good day! It doesn't work that way with him." they were talking about... Me? Now, I knew eavesdropping isn't right, but what would you do if you've heared your name come up in a conversation that wasn't for you ears? Yeah, thought so.

"William, don't be rude." yep, definitely his mom. There was a soft "sorry" and his mom kept talking. "I didn't mean to ask him straight forward everything. I have an idea, why don't you invite him to dinner sometime? That way you'll know he had a hot full meal and maybe talk to him more. How's that sound?"

"That's perfect! Thank you, I'll go ask him." I heared footsteps coming at he door from the inside and I backed away quickly. I jumped a few steps back and walked to the room like I just got here and I didn't at all heared them both talking about me.

This was something I have yet to overcome: Will's hero complex where he thought he could save just anyone with a pulse, including me. But that's where he was wrong: I didn't want to be saved. Sure, my life weren't the best to live through but I was capable of taking care of myself with the help of no one for the past four years. And I saw how he did this, by taking baby steps, giving me a smile here, placing on my plate an extra slice of bread there, and by following me to the basement every day to see that I got there safely. It filled my heart with appreciation and annoyance towards him that I didn't know how to face, so it came out as anger.

Will saw me and stopped walking. "Oh Nico, hey, I was just about to- why do you have that face on?" I couldn't see myself, but I felt my anger reflecting on my face like I've been made by a sculpture, every line on my face a hard line, every bit of happiness I felt just five minuts ago was gone, replaced by a frown and boiling emotions.

"You just don't know where to stop, do you?" I knew it was a bad idea to reveal my eavesdropping, but I couldn't think clear when I was angry, never could.

Will was confused. "But... I just did. See, I was walking and then I stopped when I saw you so I do know where to stop." he looked sickly proud of himself.

I was too tired to do this right there and then so I just shook my head and said, "whatever. What did you want before?"

"Oh, right. So my mom has this idea that I really like so here it goes: Death boy, would you like to come over for dinner tonight? In here, I mean, at my house, like, with me and my mom. Tonight." he looked so nerves his eyes kept jumping everywhere after he asked. In an alternative universe, this could have been the first time I was asked out on a date. But this was my universe. And in this univerese, people like me were arrested and being tortured and killed in many different ways, so something like that could never happen, no matter what.

One eyebrow had been lifted. "And why would you want that?"

Will shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "Why wouldn't I?"

There were so many reasons and ways to answer that, but while thinking about them all, I couldn't think of even one reason that would be enough for him that he wouldn't sweep away imidiatly. I could always just not show up, but he already knew where I lived and after a short amont of time around him, I knew he wouldn't hasitate to come by and drag my sorry ass with him.

with a heavy sigh I said unwillingly, "fine, I'll come. Just don't be weird about it."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Death boy." He winked at me and mentioned with his hand to follow him.

"Would you stop calling me that already?!"

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Welcome, living life forms! New chapter ahead. Sorry for not apdating for a few weeks, I've started something new in my life so the next updates may not be as persistence as it has been, but I will continue the story, so worry not.**

 **My friend mentioned to me that I've made a mistake when writing on the last chapter- that Will and his mom were living just the two of them, because where are Kayla and Austin? But I have something on my mind for that, so NOT a mistake.**

 ****

 **Chapter 7**

At the end of the day I was cleaning the medicines closet at the corner of the kitchen from dust and throw away products that were too old and couldn't be used anymore. I didn't know what gave me the knowledge or experience to do so, but Will said I would be fine as long as I threw out only those that were expired.

After Will invited me to dinner with him and his mom, the day kept on going with nothing big going on. That was another thing I have yet gotten used to: the lack of physical work, working at a heated place and actually get to know the people around me, even if I didn't talk to them directly- there was Kayla that loved archery and learning, Austin liked everything that was about poetry or music, Leo was kind of insane with all that has to do with fire and machinery and he always had some sort of metal in his hands that never stopped working. Then there were the patients- Mrs. Andrew, who liked to be called by here name, Julia, whom was kind and every time I came in room 1 she asked where was the other boy that I soon realized was Austin (this whole crush on him thing was hilarious to watch), Mrs. Henderson complained about the youth of this days and how we were too wild and didn't go to school anymore (she didn't really seemed like she knew we were at war), Mrs. Helen didn't seem to notice any of us at all, and Mr. Chiron I already knew.

And then there was Will. I knew that after knowing him for two days I couldn't say I knew him, but somehow he seemed to know me. He knew how to handle my snaps and gabs, how to ask questions that didn't pry too much. It was like he always knew me, through better or worse. But I did learn some things about him: his goal was to become a doctor, just like his father, he hated the winter and longed for the summer, he was kind and always wanted to help. It wasn't like the last one was hard to know, but to see it in action on someone other then me gave me the last hint.

I was trying to reach to the top shelf while standing on an old chair to clean all the dust that was sitting there for who knew how many years, when I heared a small cracking sound that soon became louder, and before I knew what's happening, one of the chair's legs broke underneath me and I was falling to the floor with no way to stop. Somehow I managed to fall sideways on my injured arm. I tried to chock a small cry of pain as I shut my mouth with my other hand harshly.

"Mother-!" I rolled onto my back and laid on the floor, crumbling with stinging fire that went all the way from my arm to my shoulder. My first instinct was to clutch the painful spot, but I knew it would only hurt even more. So I laid there, my breath got heavy to try and ease the pain, heart pounding in my throat. I shut my eyes, looking for the abiliity to stand up and just do something with myself, anything but to stay here untill someone would find me.

I lifted my upper body to a position of sitting and paused to try and stop my heart beat that crept to the place of the cut. I held my injured arm to my chest and placed the good one flat on the floor for support. I bent my knees beneath me and at one, not so swift motion, got on my feet and tottered in my place. My vision went blurry so I leaned my forehead on one of the selves of the closet, one for stability and two so I could make the world stop fucking spin.

I heared footsteps coming to the kitchen. I couldn't let someone see me like that. If anyone knew that all this was because I fell from a simple chair Will would keep me here for eternity and hunt me as a ghost.

The door opened and there was a gasp. "Nico, are you alright?" a gentle hand was placed on my shoulder and I didn't care that the ground beneath me wasn't stable, in a quick motion I jumped away from the person next to me, backing away to the wall and away from the closet. My heart was hammering in my chest, not in panic, simply frighten from the sudden contact and the presence beside me.

Kayla held her hands as in surrender, showing no sing that she would cause me any harm, but something in me just got in a defence mode.

She spoke very slowly and calmly, the first time I've seen something resemble Will's personality. "Nico, nothing is wrong, I just want what's best for you. If you don't want help I can leave."

I swallowed hard and thought about it. My reaction was ridiculous. I had nothing to fear from, not in here, not right now. I needed to get a grip on myself.

"No, no, it's... fine. I'm fine."

She didn't look all convinced, but she noded. "Okay, if you need anything you can always come to me, I know Will can sometimes be too much for some people, even for me." she gave me a knowing smile and turned to leave.

"Wait!" before I knew it I found myself reaching my hand at her direction, a silent plea for her to stop on top of my burst out.

Kayla turned to look at me, a puzzled look on her face. I get that, it was something neither of us expected to happen- me taking the first step and trying to create contact with a conversation.

I let my hand drop to my side, head hanging low on my neck. I knew I could always say 'never mind' and forget that the whole thing ever happened, but there was something I had to know.

I took a deep breath, and asked without lifting my head to meet her eyes, "Will invited me tonight for dinner with his mother. Do you think it's charity or he's just being simply nice?"

It had been bothering me ever since he made the invitation. After meeting Will for the first time, everything he did seemed smeared with pity and charity. I could never see beyond this, taking the mercy of other people was something my pride couldn't handle. I would go as far as to say that I would rather die before I let someone take care of me for reasons that weren't just kindness.

Kayla checked outside the closet to see if someone was there before coming my way and stopping a few steps before reaching where I stood. "Look Nico, the thing about Will is that he's always nice and always want to help. Sometimes it is out of feeling sorry for someone, but that shouldn't be a reason for you to deny his help when given." she gave me another soft smile. "I can see that he only wants your best, regardless the fact that he's taking care of you here. He really sees you as a friend, and so does Austin and I."

The werid part was that her words actually made me feel better, even if just a bit. I never thought that working here would cause me to make friends, even if I wasn't aware that this was what was happening.

I risked another question carefully. "Will you and Austin be as well tonight? At the dinner?"

At that she wore an expression that I couldn't tell if it was uncomfortable or disturbness. "Um... No. Austin and I are siblings. Will is only our half brother." she looked like she didn't want to talk about the matter, so she only told what she knew wouldn't do much harm.

I decided to drop the subject and turned back to the shelves, signaling to her that she didn't need to feel the urge to stay.

And so, a few seconds after I picked up the dust sweeper and pretended to clean the shelves that I already cleaned, I heared her footsteps going out and away from the supply medicines, leaving me alone at last.

 **~§°§°§~**

After handing out dinner to all the patients and making sure that they had everything they needed for the night, Will said goodbye to Kayla and Austin as they left left to their home somewhere in town, and I was left alone with Will. I was abput to leave myself when Will came in between me and the door to stop me from exiting the clinic. I took a step back to keep some breathing distance from him. Good thing he didn't try to grab my hand. This could only go down.

I lifted my eyebrow at him, "what is it Solace?"

He spread his arms to their fullest infront of the door like some over defensive security guard. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Not here." I didn't try to go past him, I could sense he won't budge no matter what I'll do.

"But Nico, you promised you'll stay for dinner. You're not backing out, are you?" he whined and pouted like the seven year old he actually was, his arms slung beside his body.

I talked to him with like I would to a kid, emphasizing the words slowly. "It's five o'clock. Dinner is at the evening. Now's not dinner"

"Well then, stay for a while. It'll be stupid to go and then come back." The weird thing was that he actually sounded like wanted me to stay.

"Why would you want me to stay? We'll have nothing to talk about."

Will rolled his eyes at me. "Why do you always try your best at keeping yourself from people but never try to mingle and talk to one, ha? It's easier then you think."

"It's not-" I cut myself before taking a short breath and starting again. "People don't like me around, it's just the way things are. I'm used to it so it's fine, you can uninvite me and you don't have to feel bad about it." Even while saying it, I could feel the lie within it. The idea of a hot meal not once, but twice a day was something so unreachable and unfamiliar to me that I had a hard time to accept it. It was appealing and tempting, but I knew when to feel unwanted.

Will looked tired but with a smile, a combination that didn't seem right untill I saw it. "Death boy, just stay here. If you won't like it I promise I won't stop you from leaving. Just stay for a while and see?" he bit his lower lip, a hopeful expression in his eyes.

It's like he knew how to get under my skin without even trying. "Oh fine, just quit it with the puppy dog eyes, will you?"

Will smiled with satisfaction. "You got it! Now come on, let's head up." He started walking to a place I have yet seen. We entered the kitchen and he led us to a door I have never seen since it was hidden next to the cabinet with all the cooking stuff like pots and pans, which I never used so I never had a chance to see. The door led to a steep, squeaking staircase, each stair falling under the weight of our feet. When we reached the top of the stairs, Will didn't hesitate and turned left. There weren't many doors, just two on the right and two on the left. Will went past the first door and opened the second once he reached it.

"This is my room, thought it would be nicer to sit here then in the kitchen." He kept the door open for me, like every other time we were together. It sometimes pissed me off that he acted like I was some damsel in distress that needed help from a gentleman, so I stood for just a second longer to stare at him with a frown to show him that I wasn't at all pleased with what was happening, then went through the door since it was already open.

Will Solace's room was nothing like i would whve imagined it would be. I expected bright walls, sunlight coming thru the windows that matches the room's owner.

what greeted me looked kike a prisoner's cell.

On the far end of his room was a wall with a long line of small windows, just enough for someone like Will to go threw it. They were close and all had bars from the outside, the light entering from the windows was paler then i've imagined, somehow thinking that Will's personal space would always be sunny. The walls were a dull color of dirty gray, but somehow just the presence of Will made it seem less awful and more alive.

Speaking of him, I looked over at Will. He scanned the room just like I did, only he had this weird, unexplained look of longing on his face and in his posture. He looked at his bed, then on the small closet near it.

"It's not much, but it's home." His voice took me by surprise. It was a bit rough and dry, like it was hard saying those words. I couldn't imagine what could cause him to sound like that. In my mind, this was Will- the guy who had it all, the one that always got what he wanted, always nice, always happy. But then I thought about the times he wasn't that guy:when he snapped at me after reminding him of his brother, when I've heard him talk to his mother about me, how he sounded sad and not happy at all, and now. Now he looked out of place in this room, not like fish out of the water, but like a horse in the middle of the ocean. Out of place and away from something suitable, and just not right. And when he called it home, it was almost like when I called the basement 'home'.

That thought was shocking enough to take me out of balance, so I placed one hand on the wall behind me, stumbling the two and a half steps to there.

Will noticed it and came to my rescue. "Hey, are you okay? Wait, that's a stupid question. Come on, lean on me, you need to sit down." He bent a bit to reach my height and curled one arm over my shoulders to support me. The fact that he needed to bent to make us the same height might have made me irritated if the floor would have stayed in place and wouldn't move so much.

He led me to his bed and helped me sit on it. At first look it comfortable and soft, but than when I set on it it was kind of hard and stiff. It surprised me how knowing Will more and more only made me see all the imperfection of him- his personality, the place he lived, his life. It made me realize that I wasn't the only one in pain, that maybe I wasn't alone and that I could maybe live my life differently, damaged, yet not broken.

Will bent in front of me so he kneeled lower than me. He lift his finger and held it in front of me. "I want you to follow my finger so I'll know if your focus is somehow damaged, okay?"

"How is that going to tell you that?" I didn't really care, I just wanted to hear him talk some more. His voice was soothing and calming and I needed something to think of other than how close he was to me.

He still held his finger infront of my face while explaining. "When you'll move your eyes to follow my finger, I could see if your eyes are focusing on a specific place that moves, or if they'll just hang there with nothing to do. Now can we please start?"

He moved his finger and at first I followed it, but then I noticed that he wasn't moving it as fast as before, until he completely stopped. And when he stopped, I stopped, and when I stopped, I noticed that he didn't move his eyes from me, and I couldn't look him in the eye because they were this bright shade of blue that shouldn't even exist on a human eye. I felt his eyes on my face, scanning, noticing everything to the last detail with such focus like he didn't want to miss a thing.

After another moment- five minutes, ten hours?- I couldn't take it anymore and I moved in my place, just to break this spell he was under. I risked a quick glance at him and I saw that his eyes were looking down, and he was blinking like he just woke up. He straightened his stare at my eyes for a split of a second, then he blushed bright red, so fire that I could see the red skin despite his darker shade of skin than me. He backed away from the bed, and stood quickly on his feet, not without falling a few times on the way back.  
Somehow through the mess of limbs he made it to the door and after opening it and mumbling, "go….dinner, to check…. um... mom-" he practically ran outside like his life was on the line.

I was left alone in his room, feeling confused of what just happened and that he left me alone in his room. Some part of me wants to run around and look at the place he stayed when he wasn't working, but another part of me knew it's rude to look at someone else's things without permission, so I stayed sited in my place, examine everything with my eyes.

The room was small, but that's how all the buildings looked around town. With every second that I looked longer, the more it didn't seemed to stand to my expectations from what I thought it would look like: some of the ceiling was bent down and leaking from melted snow that got in, the windows with the bars reminded of a mental institution, the bed was lumpy and everything was depressingly dark.

How can a place like this create someone like Will?

There was a knock on the door and Will's mop of blonde hair peeked from behind it. He looked at the floor and didn't lift it when he says, "dinner's ready."

He opened the door wider for me to go past him. I didn't know where to go to so I waited for him to lead the way. He led us down the stairs and into the kitchen. On the table was a pot with something that had steams coming out of it and three plates stood in front of each chair. Mrs. Solace was placing the forks and knifes on the table and smiled at us when we walked through the door.

"Hey boys. Nico, I'm glad you could join us." She exchanged glances with Will and I knew she thought about the talk they had shared just a few hours ago. I acted like I didn't noticed as I moved my eyes to the steaming pot in he middle of the table. It had in it some sort of stew in it. The smell of some sort of meat came at me and made my stomach rumble with the fading memory of how meat used to taste. In the back of my head I remembered the traditional meatballs my other used to make, an old recipe that went through the family for generations.

A strng ringing brought me back from my dazed state i fell into and i glanced at the diraction the unfemiliar sound came from. Mrs. solace and will also turned their heads in the direction of the clinic.

Mrs. solace started towared the door while she flashed us a quick smile she said she will be right back.

and I was left with will alone once again.

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **For any of you that are religious, I mean no harm in this chapter, everything that's in here is from Nick's point of view and not my opinion on things.**

 **  
~§°§°§~**


	8. Chapter 8

**For any of you that are religious, I mean no harm in this chapter, everything that's in here is from Nico's point of view and not my opinion on things.**

 **And another thing: at the very first chapter I said that Nico was born in the place he now lives in. Well I was wrong. For some reason I can't edit this chapter and things have changed and HE WAS BORN IN ITALY, so forget about it.**

 **Anyway, read and review!**

 **~§°§°§~**

 **** **Chapter 8**

The table had on it more food than I've eaten in the past month.

When we stepped in the door to the kitchen the first thing I noticed was the smell. The warm scent of some sort of meat, the salt of baked potatoes, fresh baked bread and other things I didn't even know what they were. In the first few seconds it was almost unbearable to stand there. All this wealth just in my hand's reach, the situation so unfamiliar that I didn't know how to react, the same reason why I completely froze in my place a step after entering the kitchen's door.

Will was walking behind me and when I planted my feet in my place he stumbled on me and nearly caused us both to fall over ourselves. He quickly caught my arm and pulled me up before I fell. The problem was that to make sure that neither of us fell, he had to pull me and hold me to his body to gain balance so he wouldn't come right after me.

It took my brain a few seconds to comprehend what just happened, and when it did, I found that my back was pressed against him, one hand still on my arm and the other on my shoulder and that his face was nuzzling the back of my head. The world stopped, my blood was boiling in my veins, my breath caught in my throat. His hot breath was fanning my hair, his heartbeat noticeable everywhere his skin touched me, his hands shaking. I couldn't see him, but it was the first time I've been in his presence that he was lacking confidence and maybe... insecure? Like he was as shaken as I was.

He didn't let go and I didn't know what to do, but then the door to the clinic opened and Will's mom entered and both of us let go and stumbles a bit with the lack of stability. We looked at her like we were guilty of something which didn't sit right in my head, because I knew why I felt guilty, but as long as I knew Will didn't have any reason to feel this way, so why-

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Naomi asked us with a peculiar expression, one eyebrow lifted.

While I dropped my head to the floor Will answered, "no reason, just happy to see you, mother." He walked to her and kissed her cheek. She rolled her eyes like she knew he wasn't telling her the truth but knew it wasn't something bad, because it was Will, and Will don't let people down or did bad things. Even in my mind I sounded bitter, great.

"Take a sit. You too, Nico." Naomi smiled at me and gestured to one of the chairs, the one beside Will and in front of her. I walked over there as quiet as I could, barely lifting my head only to look up while taking a sit. I couldn't look at Naomi after what she saw, let alone Will.

Naomi placed the food on the plates and gave each of us one when finished. I noticed that my plate seemed fuller and had extra of everything and immediately I knew what was going on- I remembered their conversation about my weight and how they invited me out of pity. Well, I wasn't going to just sit there and let them feel sorry for me.

I was about to push myself back and walk away without even thanking them when Will and Naomi held their hands and gave me their other for a prayer. I didn't want to take it, but then my eyes dropped to the steaming pots on the table. I grabbed their hands. I believed in no God. If there was a God out there, any God, he wasn't in my favor. I couldn't believe in something that could create and destroy me at the same time, it would just be pointless to love something that didn't care for me.

They already began eating, and when Naomi noticed I didn't touch my food she asked why I wasn't eating. I couldn't say my pride wouldn't let me receive any help from others because here I was, working in a place I was given out of will, receiving a medical treatment I never paid for and eating one full meal a day- hupocrisy wasn't really my color. I didn't really know what to say that would make sense when I saw Will's face beside me. It was faint, almost too small that I nearly missed it, but after another second of confirmation, I saw that yes, his eyes and smile and body were all asking me to stay. Maybe he somehow sensed that I wasn't sure if I should, maybe he didn't, all I knew was that he wanted to stop me from doing something foolish that I'll regret, and something in me wanted to let him. So I fixed my eyes on Naomi again and placed a fake smile on my lips.

"Just wanted to make another small prayer, just between me and God." It felt so wrong on my lips I almost felt my brain melt and leaking from my ears.

But Naomi looked pleased by my answer and she went back to her plate. I could feel Will's burning stare on me from my left, tempting me to look back. Well I didn't. I picked up the fork and began eating. I assumed the food tastes as good as the food we, (we? you're in too deep di Angelo) gave in the clinic scene Will's mum made it, but all I tasted was cardboard flavor. Nothing felt good or right about this dinner and all I wanted was to be out of there and back in the basement, something I never thought I would want.

But I stayed. Whether it was because I didn't want to let Will down or whether it was because I just wanted to fill my stomach as much as I could in fear that it would sometime run out, I stayed in my sit like a good boy and ate my food. _More like a puppet driven by the temptation of food and warmth._

The dinner came to an end and I got up to take my plate to the sink, but Naomi made me sit back down with a wave of her hand. "Don't be silly, you're a guest, give it to me." She took the plate and me and Will were left sitting.

I didn't know what else to do or say so I got up and made my way to the door threw the clinic with Will at my heels. Opening the door and turning to look at Will I said, "thank you, for this. Um..." I started before realizing I had nothing to say. I still couldn't look him in the eye after not one, but two incidents in the past evening.

I turned and made my way out to the street. I reached to the last step and to the sidewalk when Will called after me, "will you be coming tomorrow?" I stood under the streetlight and looked at him. The streetlight's light made it hard to actually see him, which made it easier for me to look at his direction, but I could still see his mop of blonde hair, cancelling the dark and letting the light enter.

My voice couldn't even convince myself. "I don't know, maybe." I sounded uncertain and weak.

There was a silence that seemed like it always been there. The night seemed to suck every last bit of the sort of safety there was during the daytime and I had the urge to turn and look that there wasn't anyone behind me. I didn't, though. It would have made me look even more pathetic than what I've already done. Threw the light from above me I could see that Will wanted to add something and talk, the conflict written all over his body language, but he held himself.

Eventually he sighed with defeat. "Alright. Good night Nico." I could tell he wasn't in a good mood if he decided to not use the nickname he gave me and use my real name. He wasn't in a bad mood, though. Maybe tired, but not bad. He wasn't the type of person that experienced bad moods.

I felt tired myself, all this day was nerve racking and just too much. I felt two thousand years old, everything going in a much higher speed then what I was used to and just leaving me behind to wonder where everyone went.

I took off towards the basement. When I got farther from the clinic I made a half turn of my head, and as expected there he was, standing in the same place I last saw him,looking at me thru the darkness like I, ironically, was his light in the night, showing him the way home.

 **~§°§°§~**

Walking to the basement in the night wasn't something I often did. For a starter, with my original work place I couldn't prevent sleep if I wanted to be able to get up the next morning.

Secondly, I had nothing to look for at this streets at this time. The whole town was asleep except for maybe a few people that lived in the street, no home,job or family to go back to, let alone to care for.

I was just lucky I had Bianca through the years so we could learn together how to survive on our own, and when I was alone it was hard at first, but I knew I couldn't let myself be like one of those people, laying on sidewalks, just waiting for death to take them. And thirdly, and if someone might ask you I have never said any of this, the streets at night were terrifying.

It was cold, not something new, but the fear always crawled in my spine, making me shiver no matter what was the weather, but when it was already cold enough to make my teeth clutter, the fear only made my fingers feel like they were going to fall even though they were tucked in my pockets..

There was a noise coming from behind me. Something made of glass fell and rolled, identified by the unique, sharp sound that couldn't be mistaken for anything else. My head snapped backwards, my eyes wide and awake.

The street lights illuminated everything around me but the alleys and most darkest corners. I couldn't see where the glass came from, only that it came from where I just walked.

Also, I didn't know what caused it to fall which was the thing I feared the most. The paralyzing feeling of pure terror crept in my spine and closed my throat, making it hard to breath properly.

It was too familiar. It reminded me too much of other nights, nights that shaped my life in ways I never wanted, never asked for. My life was made of significant nights that couldn't be removed or forgotten.

This night didn't feel like one of those nights, though. It was only my mind playing with me, controlling my logic and twisting it so I couldn't tell what was right or wrong, reality or imaginary.

My brain couldn't function properly, resulting me to stay planted in my place like an idiot, staring at the direction of the noise. I knew fear was only a reaction to something I didn't know or couldn't explain, but when I saw a figure beginning to form from the darkness through the screen of street light, something in me went cold and stiff and I couldn't do anything to turn my head and run.

I could now see it was a male once he came closer, his hair too short to be a female's, the shoulders broad and square. The glass, I could now see it was a glass bottle, rolled in my direction, being the only sound around us and creeping the hell out of me in the process.

The figure quickened its steps towards me, still unrecognized because of the light that came from behind him, making his face disappear in the darkness.

Then he spoke for the first time and said in a hushed whisper, "shh!"

It was so odd and random that at first I didn't know what to do. Should I stay where I am? Should I run? Would I even manage that?

As he came closer, I saw that he was going after the glass bottle to try to stop it from rolling, not towards me. It was silly to think like that, but I honestly thought he was coming for me, to take me somewhere or whatnot. It was a natural reaction at that time in my life: I always expected the worst so I could either be prepared or relieve. It wasn't even an option. I hate that feeling, that anticipation for something bad to happen, only because I didn't know any different.

But I couldn't relax just yet. I still didn't know how that man was, what were his intentions or why he was chasing a bottle in the middle of the street. Maybe he was drunk if he told the bottle to be quiet, maybe he was lunatic and maybe he was just a simpleton, I didn't know.

Turns out, I was right. No, he wasn't drunk. And no, he wasn't a lunatic. Well, only partly. But he was indeed a simpleton.

After he reached to grab the bottle and placed it to stand on the sidewalk, he was about ten meters away from me and he got closer to the street light I was standing close to. When he stretched to his full height and revealed his identity: dark hair, almost blending with the night if it weren't for the metallic color light that rained on his head and made it clear his it didn't end with his forehead, sea green eyes that were now dark, almost black, but I knew the exact color it had, and that goofy smile that spread on his face once he recognized me, that smile that you just knew to stay away from if you weren't looking for trouble.

With a new found smile on his lips he came closer to me to have a better look at me. "Nico? Is that you?"

If he hadn't said my name I would have tried to turn and blend with the shadows of the cold night, but he already recognized me, and although I didn't give a damn about social protocols, I couldn't just escape from the guy that once saved my life.

I let out a breathy sigh and closed my eyes before opening them again a second later to see him approaching me.

Every time I had to look at him I always felt that burning ache in my chest, for reasons I knew, yet didn't want to.

When I only first met Percy Jackson, I knew something has changed in me forever. I didn't know what it was, just that I wanted to be around him, wanted him to notice me more.

It was Bianca's and my first day at our new elementary school after we left Italy. I was about nine , maybe ten years old. I didn't know anything about life - not about the war, why did we have to leave our old home or why mom always looks scared when we left the new house to go shopping for groceries, countless of times looking behind her back for some reason- but what I did know was my new favorite color was emerald sea- green.

Percy reached to where the light started and stood an arm's length from me.

"'Thought I recognized that aviator jacket and the brooding aura." he smiled like what he said was funny. It wasn't.

"Um, yeah, hi." God, I even sounded uncomfortable. I tried a different direction, "so, how's it going?"

He looked pleased that I was trying to make small talk. "Oh you know, still working and what not, trying to gain some money for after the war so Annabeth and I could have a nice start."

Right, Annabeth, Percy's girlfriend. I've known her for a long time, almost as much as I've known Percy. When I first met him I've yet to know about her existence. It's been a few days since she went missing when Bianca and I came to the school.

Some have thought she was kidnapped, some thought she was dead, but after knowing him for some days, Percy kept saying that he just knew she was still alive. He wanted to go after her without even knowing where to go, he even gathered a small group of friends that wanted to go with him and find her, but Chiron, our history teacher caught them before they went.

Eventually, some woman named Artemis - I assumed it was a made up name- found and brought her back to the school. I found it strange that the girl didn't want to go straight home after coming back.

Didn't she want to she her parents? I was with Percy when we saw her coming with the woman threw the school's door, and when I saw the way he looked at her, and how he hugged her, like she was everything to him, that was the first time that I realized that something was different in me. That I didn't want him to look at her that way. It was the first heartbreaker and first disappointment out of many.

Percy was looking at me, waiting for me to say something back. He knew I wasn't a small talk person, yet he wanted to talk to me. I guess I had something with people that didn't give up on me. I blinked for a second and then, "um, wow, that sounds great."

That was all I had to say, but Percy kept the conversation without even blinking. "So how about you? Is there some special lady in sight?" he wiggled his eyebrows with a wicked smile playing on his lips.

I just gave him a dry face. "Jackson, don't give me that look in the middle of the night, go harass someone else." it was easier to jab him than thinking about answering his question. _No, no lady in sight. In fact, no ladies ever._

"Relax Neeks, I'm just messing with your head." his expression turned a bit more serious for his next words. "Where have you been the past few days? You haven't been to work or said anything before you left."

That I could answer. "Jack and his fuckheads. After he gave me that cut, Jason sent me to the clinic and the-" I almost chuckled at the title - "the doctor there told me I needed to rest for a few days." I didn't want to elaborate more than I had to, he didn't need to know anything else.

"And miss two days of work? That doesn't sound like you."

I shrugged my shoulders. "He gave me a job for those few days since I wanted to go back to work the next day. He said it would only make it worse."

Understanding washed over his face. "Oh, that actually makes sense. But you're coming back tomorrow, right? It's been kind of lonely and all the other guys just don't talk to me."

After all these years knowing him, it was hard to forget that Percy wasn't always the confident guy he now was. I remembered his only friends other than me were Annabeth and some older kid named Grover that has been recruited a year ago. He was never one of the cool kids and that's how he stayed. He did make friends with Jason some time ago, but since he was the temporary manager they couldn't really talk.

"I don't know, maybe." I gave him the same answer I gave Will just a few minutes ago for simply not knowing what I was going to do.

I wanted to go back to the woods - I had too much left energy in me that needed to be lashed at something. Plus, my hands missed the feeling of the ax, cutting pieces of wood, my feet wanted to feel small branches break beneath them and soft ground caving to my weight, my nose wanted to smell the fresh sent of trees and clear air.

Everything in me wanted to go back there, but there were things I knew I would miss if I did- the thought of going to sleep with my stomach full, receiving smiling faces when I walked in the room, even the sight of my hands clean with no mud underneath my nails. But over everything, I knew I would miss Will. His annoying attitude, his need to make sure everyone was okay and feed before he ate himself, how he never stopped smiling, his warm presence that calmed the entire room once he entered, his crystal blue eyes.

I didn't know what tomorrow would bring, I only knew that the answer would come tomorrow morning.

A new thought crossed my mind. "Wait, why are you out here so late?"

It was probably an effect from the poor lighting, but I thought I saw him blush bright pink. "Ahhh, you see, I haven't had much spar time this week since I'm taking long shifts, and Annabeth wasn't too satisfied with it so..." he trail of, leaving the rest of the sentence in the air.

Something in my stomach sank at that. I knew they were together for half a year now, and I knew nothing was ever going to change that, but hope didn't work that way. It gave you the thought that even if all the sings said one thing, what you wanted could still come true. It ate you alive, leaving no survivors behind.

But I couldn't let it shown. "That's... That's sounds great. Have fun." I passed him, leaving him to stand under the street light. I tucked my hands deeper into my pockets and lowered my head when he called after me.

"Nico! Where are you going?"

I just kept walking, ignoring his calls, not even caring that I was walking in the opposite direction from the basement.

 **~§°§°§~**

 **A/N: for the Solangelo lovers (me included) I didn't want to add some Pernico feelings, but after a lot of thinking I realized I couldn't skip on that part since it's a huge part of Nico's development... So, yeah. It gets better (translation: more Solangelo)**

 **review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Oh my God, it's been so long! Sorry for being away for this long. My phone died and it had half of this chapter on it and it was too depressing to even look at it for two whole weeks, so… yeah. Forgive me and please do keep reading my story, I like seeing where are my readers from, so exotic.**

 **Anyway, enjoy!**

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Chapter 9**

 _Place, lift, chop, remove._

 _Place, lift, chop, remove._

It sometimes hurt, to lift my arm above my head, but I bit my tongue and kept on going. I didn't want to think about anything that moment, so I focused my thoughts on working and chopping, not willing to think about anything other than firewood and breathing.

All morning I could feel Jason's eyes on me, watching for any sign that I was incapable of working for the day.

Jason was a good manager. Even though he had to fill his father's shoes in a minutes warning, he inherited his father's - Zeus - leadership ability and held the family business like he established it on his own. He knew how much this work was important to the lives of everyone in town so he took everything seriously. If one of the sheds was only half full with firewood, he stopped someone from what he was doing in favor of taking down a new tree to fill it with. If the weather got too bad he would call it a day and send everyone home, informing us that the day after would be a longer day because of it. And if someone got hurt during work or got sick, he made sure this person wouldn't work until he got better, yet with no payment for those days.

I could tell Jason wasn't sure if I was really capable for work or if I was just too stubborn to admit I was hurt and couldn't. I had a feeling we both knew it was the latter.

Percy was working at the shed next to me and when we first arrived he gave me a welcoming smile, one I couldn't not see before turning my eyes away. He didn't try to talk to me, yet I knew he wanted to ask about yesterday while I didn't. I didn't want to talk to no one, or make eyes contact or to be near someone. I just wanted to feel the tree trunk under my ax, feel cold sweat running down my spine and feel the cold numbing my fingers. Man, I could really use some gloves. My palms were all red and dry and hurt when I tried to change my hold on the ax.

Around ten, break started. Everyone left their axes stuck in their sheds trunks and went to take their food from their bags. I made my way to the logs we always set on during break with my hands on my pockets, eyes to the ground.

Not long after, someone came sit beside me. I didn't have to look to know who that was. Percy and I always set together since he had no one else to sit with and I didn't want to sit with no one. And for some reason he insist that we were friends.

"Not hungry?" he opened his paper bag and took out a sandwich. I screamed at myself to keep my eyes on the ground and to not stare at his food. My grumbling stomach could wait a few hours until I got home. I had to remind my body how it's like to spend days with no food. Those two days in the clinic made me take my guard down and I needed to have a small... diet to go back to the way I was before. I didn't enjoy this, but I had no choice.

I shook my head, my eyes focusing on one of the pine trees. It was one of the biggest around this place that we haven't taken down. It was an order from Jason, something about reminding his his sister or whatever. I couldn't in the world think about how a tree could remind someone a person, but I didn't question it.

I took a deep breath, letting the biting cold fill my lungs like little knives were sliding down in my throat. I'd rather feel this kind of pain than the one of an empty stomach, filled with memories of a kitchen table, almost collapsing with pots and bowls of food, all warm and fresh and nothing that came out of tin cans.

I glanced at Percy and quickly looked away. On his right cheekbone was a blue bruise, a new one I haven't seen last night.

The little I knew about Percy's home life, I knew that it wasn't always perfect, if at all. From previous experience I knew not to ask anything and I respect that - everyone had secrets and things they didn't want to talk about - i knew not to pry. At times like this I was glad I had someone like Percy. Yes, he may be annoying and sometimes couldn't get a hint thrown at him, but he understood that there were things that just weren't meant for him to know.

The day moved on like any other day at the woods and soon it was five o'clock and we were all heading out toward town. As most of us moved to their houses or whatever, I was the only one who went the other direction, away from the better parts of town and to my old, dusty room.

A turn, and another one, and I was at the ally. I fished the key from my pocket and when I looked up I saw one golden haired, blue eyed boy, sitting on the first stair that went down the basement with his back facing me. It looked like he was playing with something white, a bandage?

When he heard my steps behind him he quickly turned while standing up and taking the last step to stand in front of me. I didn't know what to say. Hi? Sorry I never showed up at the clinic this morning? But on the other hand I had nothing to apologize about, I did say that I didn't know if I would show up this morning, so technically I Didn't lie nor did I stood him up.

Will had this look that was somehow a mixture of disappointment and joy, like he couldn't decide which one he felt.

"Hey." his smile was small and shy, like he didn't know how to talk to me after not seeing one another for a day. Everything was awkward and inconvenient. All I wanted was one day with no drama, just to get up in the morning, have a peaceful day at work and to relax in the basement with no distractions or other people, was that so hard to accomplish?

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I said. I figured the faster I would talk the quickest I would have him leaving.

It was an obvious question, but he looked surprised and off guard. "Do I need a reason to come see my friend?"

I still cringed at that title, but covered it by folding my hands over my chest. "No, but there is no reason for you to be here at this time with this kind of weather. So why?"

All of a sudden the ground looked all too interesting for Will. He rubbed his hand on the back of his head with the other one in his pants pocket. Everything in his posture said everything he didn't; that there was a real reason for him to be here, that he was embarrassed because of the exact reason, that maybe he didn't know himself what he was doing here.

There was a small voice that after a few long seconds I figured was his voice. "I'm sorry, what?"

Will looked at me with his eyes hidden behind his bangs, an easier way to talk without feeling embarrassed. "You didn't come today."

I actually didn't expect that that would be what's to come out of his mouth, but I didn't let it waver me. "Yeah, I went back to the woods. Jason can't afford losing any working hands and I have one and a half, so…" I trailed off and let the sentence fade.

The gloomy expression left his face and made room for annoyance. "And who exactly told you you were miraculously healed and fit to work again? You just decided on your own that you can leave and that you were alright, because I know you're stubborn and dense, but even you know you're not fine and can't go back there just yet." With each word he looked smaller, less like his usual self. "And why didn't you tell me you weren't coming today?" it was barely a whisper, almost unnoticeable if you weren't paying enough attention. His voice was so heartbreaking, making my own heart hurt. Making me want to change that, to be able to make sure he would never sound like that.

I wanted to do all that, but didn't know how, so I focused on the things I did know. "I'm fine, Solace. I don't need a doctor's prescription to know that. It's my body and I've known it for the last fourteen years, unlike you that have known me for a few days." I'd rather make up a fight than face tushy things.

His face changed to a fighting mode. "Well, maybe you've known me for a few days, but I know you for years!" At that his widen and he quickly placed both his palms over his mouth like it would make his words go back to him.

"What? What do you mean?"

He went into a 'fight or flight' mode, looking to the sides for escape route, looking at me for a second as if to continue and fight, but eventually he gave up with a sigh. "I did meet you for the first time a few days ago, but i've seen you around when we were at elementary school. You were always with this girl I didn't know, but sometimes when you were on your own I wanted to come and talk to you, but never did."

"Why didn't you?" I couldn't help myself before the words were out in the open air. It was almost funny how I wanted to mimic Will's actions and cover my mouth.

He again looked embarrassed. "I was kind of super nervous to talk to you. You were this cool kid that no one knew who you were. And I wanted to be the one who did." He said it like it was as simple as that and I didn't understand.

"Why?" my voice almost sounded offended, like wanting to know me was something offensive.

Will let out a small chuckle, sending heat to my cheeks. "Why not? You looked lonely when the girl wasn't with you so I wanted to keep you company, is that so weird?"

Silence warped it's cold hands over us, leaving room for some thinking. Did Will really meant that? I tried to think of how my life would look like if I knew Will back less depressing. Maybe even pleasant. If we were friends at this time, maybe Bianca's death wouldn't have been so hard to handle, it would have been nice to have someone to talk to, someone to hold you when you couldn't do it yourself.

All that thinking made me reconsider the way i've been living so far, that maybe there was another way.

"-re they cold?" Will's words brought me back to the present, well, only the end of his words, but it didn't matter.

"Sorry, what?" I was starting to get sick of that question. _Get a grip and pay attention._

Will seemed to think that as well. "Will you listen? I asked why does your hands look like that and if they're cold."

I lifted my hands so I could see them better. "Oh, um, no, just a bit dry from work."

"Than why are they red?"

"Holding an ax the entire day won't give me soft and pretty hands Solace, even you know that." _Now he's just trying to be annoying on purpose._

He didn't look satisfied with my answer but he let it go. "So, are you taking care of yourself?"

"Is that what this is all about? To check on me that I'm still alive and not starving myself?" Just then my body betrayed me and my stomach growls, a sound that ring in the quiet alley with no way to hide it.

He looked at me with warning in his blue eyes, the darkness of the night making them look dark, almost unable to detect any actual color in them.

searching for a way out of this situation I kept my voice with the same irritation in it. "Oh please, I'm just tired after working the entire day, of course I'm hungry."

His face relaxed a bit and he put his hands in his pockets. "Well, I better go now, my mom will probably start to worry if I stay any longer."

I nodded without saying anything. Will looked at my face one more time, then for some reason at my hands, said goodbye and left.

I was left alone in front of the basement, just like I wanted. But after Will left, I didn't feel like being alone anymore. _What is it with him that's changing everything I believed in the past few years?_

 **~§°§°§~**

The next morning I woke up and left town towards the woods, feeling a little better after I collapsed and slept the whole night without waking up once.

I rubbed my cold, dry hands and put them in my pockets. About a few streets before town ended I heard someone running from behind me.

"Nico!" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning and facing my first human interaction of the day.

Will caught up with me, panting from the run, cheeks bright pink from the cold. Every time I saw him I couldn't tell if I wanted him to stay and talk to me just for the sake of it or for him to leave me alone, knowing he would be his usual annoying. _Annoyingly endearing._

"I'm so glad I caught you before you left." He was still panting a bit, but he now took deep breaths and with every word he sounded less like he was about to die in front of me.

Without saying anything else, he held out his hand and gave me what was in it. Looking at it, I found a pair of gloves. Looking more closely, i saw that they were only half gloves, the tips of the fingers cut off. It was all cotton from the inside, but all the casing was covered with dark brown, soft, a beat tattered in the middle leather, keeping anything from getting inside to ruin the warming fabric and get to the skin.

I looked at Will, still holding the gloves, not knowing what to expect. Will's face wash light up like he just found the answer of how to save the world from all its problems.

"Well? put them on."

Deciding that it was too early in the morning to argue with him and partly because I couldn't bare to see his face fall like the day before, I put the gloves on. They were a bit big, but not something that could bother more than needed. The inside was made of wool, not too soft, yet not itching or unpleasant. The outside was covered in black leather. I moved my exposed fingers on my palms, feeling the years that made it soft from its original stiffness. This were good gloves, the kind that could last years and still be as good as the day they were bought.

 _Too good for you. you don't deserve them. I turned off my thoughts too focused on the moment I was in._

Will examined me while I tried them on. "So? Do you like them?"

"Well, yes, but why are you giving me them?" I wasn't stupid; I knew why he was giving them to me, it was just hard for me to accept things from him that I didn't earn, things I was given with no purpose other than to be given simply out of kindness.

Will looked confused. "What do you mean? You need gloves, I have gloves I'm not using anymore, why not hand them over?"

I lifted my eyebrow, wanting more information. Will signed yet again. "Alright, alright, so yesterday I saw your hands and you looked like you really needed gloves, but the part on them just lying in my drawer is true! I really don't need them and you obviously do!" He got all defensive and started talking with his hands, almost hitting me once.

"Look, just take them, I'll feel better if I knew you wear them. And look, they even have leather on them so it won't get ripped with your ax or wood and they don't have the fingers on so you'll have a good grasp." he looked all hopeful, but he sounded like he was trying to convince himself when he said, "they're really warm?". It seemed like the more I was around him the more he got less confident with what he said or did. Or maybe I just didn't know him for that long to know to know that for sure.

I took another look at the gloves. They did feel good putting them on, and the leather looks like it could take a few blows without it falling apart. In the back of my head I heard my pride telling me I couldn't take any more things from him, but my physical need of warmth took over, and before I knew it I was thanking him, rubbing my hands to feel the new addition on my skin. Will's face lit up with surprise that I actually agree.

I looked behind me towards the woods. "I, ua, need to go now, can't be late."

Will's eyes widen. "Oh, right, I should go as well. See you around? Maybe come visit after work?"

"Yeah, okay." I immediately face- palmed my forehead. Now I had to come over to the clinic or else he would come looking for me.

"Great! Have a nice day!" he called while walking backwards and finally turning around to go back in town.

I turned myself, walking on the narrow road that led to the clearing, thinking about the shot exchange of words. A small smile was plastered on my lips as I the thought of seeing the blond at the end of the day, feeling less grumpy about it and just a little excited.

 **~§°§°§~**

 **Thank you and review!**

 **P. S. Thank you to my beautiful editor for fixing pretty much this whole story, even this A/N, even though she was sick.**


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